h!
hush! You must not use such ugly names. Let me tell you what an impostor
is. He is a man who claims to be wealthier or braver than he is in fact,
and who undertakes what he can never carry out, and all this for the
sake of gain. But he who contrives mirth for his friends, not for his
own profit, or his hearers' loss, or to injure any man, surely, if we
must needs give him a name, we ought to call him a man of taste and
breeding and a messenger of wit."

[13] Such was the defence of Cyrus in behalf of the merrymakers. And the
officer who had begun the jest turned to Aglaitadas and said:

"Just think, my dear sir, if we had tried to make you weep! What
fault you would have found with us! Suppose we had been like the
ballad-singers and story-tellers who put in lamentable tales in the hope
of reducing their audience to tears! What would you have said about us
then? Why, even now, when you know we only wish to amuse you, not to
make you suffer, you must needs hold us up to shame."

[14] "And is not the shame justified?" Aglaitadas replied. "The man who
sets himself to make his fellows laugh does far less for them than he
who makes them weep. If you will but think, you will admit that what
I say is true. It is through tears our fathers teach self-control unto
their sons, and our tutors sound learning to their scholars, and the
laws themselves lead the grown man to righteousness by putting him to
sit in the place of penitence. But your mirth-makers, can you say they
benefit the body or edify the soul? Can smiles make a man a better
master or a better citizen? Can he learn economy or statesmanship from a
grin?"

[15] But Hystaspas answered back:

"Take my advice, Aglaitadas, pluck up heart and spend this precious gift
of yours on your enemies: make them sit in the seat of the sorrowful,
and fling away on us, your friends, that vile and worthless laughter.
You must have an ample store of it in reserve: it cannot be said you
have squandered it on yourself, or ever wasted a smile on friend or
foreigner if you could help it. So you have no excuse to be niggardly
now, and cannot refuse us a smile."

"I see," said Aglaitadas, "you are trying to get a laugh out of me, are
you not?"

But the brigadier interposed, "Then he is a fool for his pains, my
friend: one might strike fire out of you, perhaps, but not a laugh, not
a laugh."

[16] At this sally all the others shouted with glee, and even Aglaitadas
could not help hims