matter of labels."

"But I can't see--"

"My dear Bishop, everybody acknowledges that it is much nicer to give to
those you love than to receive. That is why we are exhorted to love our
fellows--that we may love to give to them. It follows that everybody at
heart likes to be charitable. Vanity was invented pretty early in
history. But it has not been properly capitalized by the Churches. Now,
listen to the difference when real brains are used. Remember that though
all is vanity, vanity is not all. Each person who gives twenty-five
cents receives a ticket. Since he lives in America, he gets something
for something! I have planned a mammoth hunger feast in Madison Square
Garden. Each donor from his seat will see with his own eyes a fellow-man
eat his quarter."

"But, my dear Mr. Rutgers--"

"I am glad you see it as I do. The ticket-buyer goes to the Garden. He
knows his ticket is feeding one man. But he sees ten thousand men
eating. He looks for the particular beneficiary of his particular
quarter. It might be any one of the ten thousand eaters! Within
thirty-seven seconds each donor will feel that his twenty-five cents is
feeding the entire ten thousand! Did a quarter of a dollar ever before
accomplish so much? Of anybody else," finished H. R., modestly, "I would
call that genius!"

The Bishop shook his head violently.

"Do you mean to treat it as a spectacle--"

"What else was the Crucifixion to the priests of the Temple?" asked
H. R., sternly.

The Bishop waved away with his hand and said, decidedly:

"No! No! Would you compel starving men--"

"To eat?" cut in H. R.

"No; to parade their needs, to vulgarize charity and make it offensive,
a stench in the nostrils of self-respecting--"

"Hold on! Charity, reverend sir, is never offensive. The attitude of
imperfectly Christianized fellow-citizens makes it a disgrace to show
charity, but not to display poverty. The English-speaking races, being
eminently practical, lay great stress upon table manners. They treat
charity as if it were a natural function of man, and therefore to be
done secretly and in solitude. Our cultured compatriots invariably
confound modesty with the sense of smell. Etiquette is responsible for
infinitely greater evils than vulgarity. Feed the hungry. When you do
that you obey God. Feed them _all_!"

"But--"

"That is exactly what I propose to do--with your help: feed all the
starving men in New York. Has anybody ever before tried t