eadily,
because it _is_ tender; whoever has acknowledged that a dull necessity,
which fools call the wise providence of God, rules the universe and the
life of mankind, is past all help and comfort! If once he has caught
the sound, he hears for ever, with the sharp ear of despair, the
monotonous rumble of the cruel, insensible wheel in the centre of the
universe, which, at every revolution, indifferently produces or
destroys life. Whoever has felt this, and lived through it, renounces
all and for ever. For evermore, nothing can make him afraid. But
certainly--he has also for ever forgotten the sweetness of a smile."

"Thou makest me shudder! God forbid that I should ever entertain such a
delusion! How hast thou acquired, so young, such terrible wisdom?"

"Friend, by thought alone the truth cannot be reached; only the
experience of life can teach it. And in order to understand what and
how a man thinks, it is necessary to know his life. Therefore, that I
may not appear to be an erring dreamer, or an effeminate weakling, who
delights in nursing his sorrow--and in honour of thy trust and
friendship--thou shalt hear a small portion of the cause of my grief.
The larger part, by far the larger, I will keep to myself," he added,
in evident pain, and pressing his hand to his heart. "The time for that
will come too. But now thou shalt only hear how the Star of Misfortune,
even at my birth, shone over my head. And amidst all the million stars
above, this one alone remains faithful. Thou wert present--thou wilt
remember--when the false Prefect taunted me before the whole assembly
with being a bastard, and refused to fight with me. I was obliged to
endure the insult. I am even worse than a bastard. My father, Tagila,
was a famous hero, but no noble. Poor, and of low birth. He had loved,
ever since his beard sprouted, the daughter of his father's brother,
Gisa. She lived far away on the outermost eastern frontier of the
realm; on the cold Ister, where continued battles raged with the Gepidae
and the wild Sarmatian hordes, and where a man has little time to think
of the Church, or of the changing laws promulgated by her Conclaves.
For a long time my father was not able to lead Gisa to his home; ha had
nought but his helm and spear, and could not pay the tax, nor prepare a
home for his wife. At last fortune smiled upon him. In the war against
the Sarmatians, he conquered the king's stronghold on the Alutha, and
the rich treasures whi