lien, and the 'norrid Frenchman, and the Bloody Furrineer? Well,
I wouldn't do it again; and unless his case is susceptible of
explanation, you might perhaps tell him so over the walnuts and the
wine, by way of speeding the gay hours. Sincerely, I thought my
dedication worth a letter.

If anything be worth anything here below! Do you know the story of the
man who found a button in his hash, and called the waiter? "What do you
call that?" says he. "Well," said the waiter, "what d'you expect? Expect
to find a gold watch and chain?" Heavenly apologue, is it not? I
expected (rather) to find a gold watch and chain; I expected to be able
to smoke to excess and drink to comfort all the days of my life; and I
am still indignantly staring on this button! It's not even a button;
it's a teetotal badge!--Ever yours,

ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON.

TO SIDNEY COLVIN

_Saturday, 24th (?) June [1893]._

MY DEAR COLVIN,--Yesterday morning, after a day of absolute temperance,
I awoke to the worst headache I had had yet. Accordingly, temperance was
said farewell to, quinine instituted, and I believe my pains are soon to
be over. We wait, with a kind of sighing impatience, for war to be
declared, or to blow finally off, living in the meanwhile in a kind of
children's hour of firelight and shadow and preposterous tales; the king
seen at night galloping up our road upon unknown errands and covering
his face as he passes our cook; Mataafa daily surrounded (when he
awakes) with fresh "white man's boxes" (query, ammunition?) and
professing to be quite ignorant of where they come from; marches of
bodies of men across the island; concealment of ditto in the bush; the
coming on and off of different chiefs; and such a mass of ravelment and
rag-tag as the devil himself could not unwind.

_Wednesday, 28 June._--Yesterday it rained with but little intermission,
but I was jealous of news. Graham and I got into the saddle about 1
o'clock and off down to town. In town, there was nothing but rumours
going; in the night drums had been beat, the men had run to arms on
Mulinuu from as far as Vaiala, and the alarm proved false. There were no
signs of any gathering in Apia proper, and the Secretary of State had no
news to give. I believed him, too, for we are brither Scots. Then the
temptation came upon me strong to go on to the ford and see the Mataafa
villages, where we heard there was more afoot. Off we rode. When we came
to Vaimusu, the