urs."

To this letter I returned the following reply:--

"SIR:--Our latest dates from Oronoco are to the 13th ultimo. The
'Constitution of '23' was then in full power. If, however, the
policy of our government be to recognize the gentlemen whose
principals shall be in office on the 2d proximo, it is a very
different affair.

"You may not be acquainted with the formulas for ascertaining the
duration of any given modern revolution. I now use the following,
which I find almost exactly correct.

"Multiply the age of the President by the number of statute miles
from the equator, divide by the number of pages in the given
Constitution; the result will be the length of the outbreak, in
days. This formula includes, as you will see, an allowance for the
heat of the climate, the zeal of the leader, and the verbosity of
the theorists. The Constitution of 1823 was reproclaimed on the
25th of October last. If you will give the above formula into the
hands of any of your clerks, the calculation from it will show that
that government will go out of power on the 1st of February, at 25
minutes after 1, P. M. Your choice, on the 2d, must be therefore
between Vibeira and Estremadura; here you will have no difficulty.
Bobadil (Vibeira's principal) was on the 13th ultimo confined under
sentence of death, at such a distance from the capital that he
cannot possibly escape and get into power before the 2d of
February. The 'Friends of the People,' in Oronoco, have always
moved slowly; they never got up an insurrection in less than
nineteen days' canvassing; that was in 1839. Generally they are
even longer. Of course, Estremadura will be your man.

"Believe me, sir, very respectfully, your obedient servant,

"GEORGE HACKMATACK."

The Cabinet had the good sense to act on my advice. My information
proved nearly correct, the only error being one of seven minutes in the
downfall of the 1823 Constitution. This arose from my making no
allowance for difference of longitude between Piaut, where their
government was established, and Opee, where it was crushed. The
difference of time between those places is six minutes and fifty-three
seconds, as the reader may see on a globe.

Estremadura was, of course, presented to the President, and sold his
scrip.

[7] Newspaper men of 1868 will be amused to thin