scene of
maddening gayety at Mrs. Miller's. Want a wet towel round your head?
Nothing like it, you know!"

_Roberts_, with dignity: "Thank you, I don't need any wet towel, and
I'll be with you in a few moments, if you'll kindly wait." He moves
towards the door of his dressing-room.

_Campbell_, cheerfully: "Oh, I'll stay by, Roberts; you needn't be
afraid. There's nothing mean about me, and you'll want somebody to pull
you together, now and then, and I know just what to do; I've been
through this kind of thing with lots of fellows in California. I know
the haughty and self-helpful stage. You're all right, Roberts. But don't
lose time. What's the matter now?" Roberts has come back from his
dressing-room and is staring vacantly at Campbell.

_Roberts:_ "I was trying to think where I'd put my dress-suit."

_Campbell_, triumphantly: "Exactly! And _now_ do you expect me to
believe you haven't been at that decanter? Where do you suppose you put
it?"

_Roberts:_ "Where I always do on a hook in my closet."

_Campbell:_ "You hang up your dress-suit? Why, it must look like a
butler's! You ought to fold your clothes and lay them in a bureau
drawer. Don't you know that? Very likely Agnes has got onto that while
you've been away, and put them in here." He looks towards the bureau,
and Roberts tries to pull open one drawer after another.

_Roberts:_ "This seems locked. I never lock my drawers."

_Campbell:_ "Then that's proof positive that your dress-suit is in
there. Agnes has put it in, and locked it up, so as to keep it nice and
fresh for you. Where's your key?"

_Roberts:_ "I don't know. I always leave it in the key-hole of one of
the drawers. Haven't you got a key-ring, Willis?"

_Campbell:_ "I've got a key-ring, but I haven't got it about me, as
Artemus Ward said of his gift for public speaking. It's in my other
trousers pockets. Haven't you got a collection of keys? Amy has a
half-bushel, and she keeps them in a hand-bag in the bath-room closet.
She says Agnes does."

_Roberts:_ "So she does! I'll just look." While he is gone, Campbell
lays down his hat and overcoat, and tries the bureau drawers. Roberts
returns to find him at this work. "No; she must have put them somewhere
else. I know she always used to put them there."

_Campbell:_ "Well, then we've got to pick the locks. Have you got a
boot-buttoner? There's nothing like a boot-buttoner to pick locks. Or,
hold on a minute! We've got to go about this thing s