of the gay--that _you_--" Jo stopped,
unable to proceed.
"You hardly expected to find me in the _role_ of the victim of a broken
heart, did you?" questioned Cyn, with a half-sad, half-humorous smile.
"I admit I do not exactly answer to the average description, and my
heart is not broken--there is only a blank in it--something dead that
can never live again. Once I loved a man with all my heart"--Jo
sighed--"with all the illusion of youth, and he loved me. The difference
between his love and mine was, that mine was forever, and his was for a
day."
"Impossible!" interrupted Jo. "No man who once loved you could ever
change."
"He happened to be one of the kind who _could_. I never really knew the
cause--it might have been another woman. You know there always _is_
another woman."
"Or another man," added Jo gloomily.
"Yes," assented Cyn, and continued. "He was one of the kind, I think
now, who are incapable of appreciating a woman's love, and consequently
unworthy of it. But unfortunately, I did not know this, and wasted mine
on him. So he and love, went out of my life forever. But," with a proud
raising of her head, "I would not be weak enough to allow all my life to
be ruined because one part of it was wrecked; with so much gone, there
still remained something, and of that I made the most. This is why my
art is everything to me, and why I cannot marry you."
"But it seems to me unreasonable, that because you loved one man who was
unworthy, you should refuse the love of another who would try very hard
to make you forget that first sad experience," argued Jo. "Give me what
you have left, Cyn! If it be but dead ashes, I will thank God for the
gift, and perhaps, at some future day, in response to my devotion, even
from those ashes shall arise another love, so strong, so intense, that,
in comparison, the old shall be but as some half-forgotten trouble of
childhood, whose remembrance cannot awaken even a passing pain."
The fervor of an honest affection made Jo truly eloquent, and his true
blue eyes met the dark ones of Cyn, glowing with earnestness and love,
and for a moment she looked at him and hesitated. Then she arose, saying
resolutely,
"No! Jo! no! Do not tempt me! The experiment would be too dangerous! To
give you a warmed-over affection in return for your whole heart, would
only be misery for us both--more misery than I am bringing to you now. I
respect and esteem you, as I said before--we will be
friend
|