th, "I'm so glad he is a boy. He might have been a girl, you know."

"No, Molly; _he_ could never have been a girl!" replied the husband, as
he gently patted his wife's shoulder.

"Now, don't laugh at me, John, dear. You know what I mean. But what
shall we call him?"

"John, of course," replied the farmer, with decision. "My father was
called John, and _his_ father was called John, and also his grandfather,
and so on back, I have no doubt, to the very beginning of time."

"Nay, John," returned his wife, simply, "that could hardly be; for
however many of your ancestors may have been Johns, the first, you know,
was Adam."

"Why, Molly, you're getting to be quite sharp," returned the farmer.
"Nevertheless this little man is to be John, like the rest of us."

Mrs Matterby, being meek, gave in; but she did so with a sigh, for she
wished the little one to be named Joseph, after her own deceased father.

Thus it came to pass that the child was named John. The name was
expanded to Johnny during the first period of childhood. Afterwards it
was contracted to Jack, and did not attain to the simple grandeur of
John till the owner of it became a man.

In the Johnny period of life our hero confined his attention almost
exclusively to smashing and overturning. To overturn and to destroy
were his chief amusements. He made war on crockery to such an extent
that tea-cups and saucers were usually scarce in the family. He
assaulted looking-glasses so constantly, that there was, ere long,
barely enough of mirror left for his father to shave in. As to which
fact the farmer used to say, "Never mind, Molly. Don't look so
down-hearted, lass. If he only leaves a bit enough to see a corner of
my chin and the half of my razor, that will do well enough." No window
in the family mansion was thoroughly whole, and the appearance of a fat
little fist, on the wrong side of a pane of glass, was quite a familiar
object in the nursery.

As for toys--Johnny had none, so to speak. He had only a large basket
full of bits, the misapplication of which to each other gave him many
hours of profound recreation. Everything that would turn inside out was
so turned. Whatever was by nature straight he bent, whatever bent he
straightened. Round things he made square when possible, and square
things round; soft things hard, and hard things soft. In short, nothing
was too hard for Johnny. Everything that came into his clutches, was
subjected