confer with other young men. What these joyless
young men saw when they squinted they never revealed. But among their
elders they spread the strong impression that it was the Capital at
Washington or Bunker Hill Monument.

Besides bottled soda and all soft drinks the _Fall of Rome_ carried
other stimuli in the shape of comic gentlemen--such beings, as, more or
less depressed in their own proper environment, on excursions suddenly
see themselves in their true light, irresistibly facetious. These funny
gentlemen, mostly husbands, seated themselves near to large groups of
indulgent women and kept up an exquisite banter directed at each other's
personal defects, or upon the idiosyncrasies of any bachelor or spinster
near. These funny gentlemen kept alluding to the excursion as the
"Exertion." If the boat rolled a little they said, "Now, Mother, don't
rock the boat."

"Here, girls, sit up close, we'll all go down together."

"Hold on to yer beau, Minnie. He'll fall overboard and where'll you git
another?"

The peals of laughter at these sallies were unfailing. The crunch of
peanuts was unfailing. The band, with a sort of plethoric indulgence,
played slow waltzes in which the bass instruments frequently misapplied
notes, but to the allure of which came youthful dancers lovely in proud
awkward poses.

Mrs. Tuttle meanwhile was the social center, demonstrating that
mysterious psychic force known as being the "life of the party." She
advanced upon a tall sallow woman in mourning, challenging, "Now Mis'
Mealer, why don't you just set and take a little comfort, it won't cost
you nothing? Ain't that your girl over there by the coffee fountain? I
should ha' known her by the reesemblance to you; she's rill refined
lookin'."

Mrs. Mealer, a tall, sallow widow with carefully maintained mourning
visage, admitted that this was so. Refinement, she averred, was in the
family, but she hinted at some obscure ailment which, while it made Emma
refined, kept her "mizzable."

"I brought her along," sighed Mrs. Mealer, "tain't as if neither of us
could take much pleasure into it, both of us being so deep in black fer
her Popper, but the styles is bound to do her good. Emma is such a great
hand for style."

"Yuess?" replied Mrs. Tuttle blandly. This lady in blue was not nearly
so interested in Emma as in keeping a circle of admirers hanging around
her cerulean presence, but even slightly encouraged, Mrs. Mealer warmed
to her topic.

"