sop and swish of the tide. Perhaps we were not
going to Mount Vernon at all! 'Halt! Who are these sleeping beauties on
the draw? Ah! these are the Bulgers. 'Say, Bulger,' I ask of one of
them, 'who's ahead of you?' 'A'n't nobody,' he replied indignantly, as
who should say, Who _can_ be ahead of the invincible Bulger Guards.
Nobody! Here was great news. ''_Orr'd_ H'RCH!' drones the major, in low
tones; and '_Owa_'' H'MP,' sharply, ''_Orrrr_ 'RRRCH,' gruffly, repeat
the captains. On we go, breaking step to save the bridge, surprise and
fluttering in our hearts. A'n't nobody ahead! Now we are on the hard
dirt, the sacred soil, of the pewter State, mother of Presidents, the
birthplace of Washington, the feeding ground of hams, but otherwise the
very nursery and hive of worthlessness, humbug, sham, and superstition.
Virginia, that might have been the first, and proudest, and most
enlightened State in the Union, that is the last and most besodden State
in or half out of it--But while my apostrophe runs on, the bit between
its teeth, the head of our little column muffles its tread on the sacred
soil itself, dirtying its boots in the sacred mud, the roar of the
bridge ceases, the last files and the sergeant-major run after them to
close up, in obedience to the sharp mandate of the major, and the
invasion is begun. No man spoke a word; no sound was audible save the
distant hum and cracking of the city, the cry of a thousand frogs, and
the muffled tramp of our advancing footsteps. I thought the enemy, if
any were near, must surely hear the cartridges rattle in my cartridge
box as we double-quicked to close up, and I put my hand behind me to
stop the clatter. If any enemy were near, indeed! There seemed an enemy
behind every bush, a rebel in every corner of the worm fence. I am in
the rear of the column, I thought, and my heart went thump, bump, and my
great central nervous ganglion ached amain. 'Sergeant-major,' whispers
Major Heavysterne; 'Sergeant-major,' barks the adjutant. 'Fall out four
files and keep off to the right, and about fifty paces in advance of the
battalion, and examine the ground thoroughly. Report any signs of the
enemy.' The ache grew bigger, and I perspired terribly as I inquired, in
tones whose tremor I hoped would be mistaken for ardor, whether any one
was ahead of us. 'No one except the enemy,' laughed the major, quietly.
No one except the enemy! Fifty paces from any one except the enemy, by
my legs, each pa