rn to England I
discovered that my father would not hear of this alliance. After a
painful struggle I yielded. I sighed as a lover, I obeyed as a son; my
wound was insensibly healed by time, absence, and the habits of a new
life.

_III.--To England and Authorship_

In the spring of the year 1758 my father signified his permission that I
should immediately return home. The whole term of my absence from
England was four years ten months and fifteen days. The only person in
England whom I was impatient to see was my Aunt Porten, the affectionate
guardian of my tender years. It was not without some awe and
apprehension that I approached my father; but he received me as a man
and a friend. All constraint was banished at our first interview, and
afterwards we continued on the same terms of easy and equal politeness.

Of the next two years, I passed about nine months in London, and the
rest in the country. My progress in the English world was in general
left to my own efforts, and those efforts were languid and slow. But my
love of knowledge was inflamed and gratified by the command of books,
and from the slender beginning in my father's study I have gradually
formed a numerous and select library, the foundation of my works, and
the best comfort of my life both at home and abroad. In this place I may
allow myself to observe that I have never bought a book from a motive of
ostentation, and that every volume before it was deposited on the shelf
was either read or sufficiently examined.

The design of my first work, the "Essay on the Study of Literature," was
suggested by a refinement of vanity--the desire of justifying and
praising the object of a favourite pursuit. I was ambitious of proving
that all the faculties of the mind may be exercised and displayed by the
study of ancient literature.

My father fondly believed that the proof of some literary talents might
introduce me to public notice. The work was printed and published under
the title "Essai sur l'Etude de la Litterature." It is not surprising
that a work of which the style and sentiments were so totally foreign
should have been more successful abroad than at home. I was delighted by
the warm commendations and flattering predictions of the journals of
France and Holland. In England it was received with cold indifference,
little read, and speedily forgotten. A small impression was slowly
dispersed.

_IV.--Soldiering and Travel_

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