o descend from their chosen element is to insure them against
a bad landing.

* * * * *

TO A VEGETABLE-MARROW.

O monstrous, O Gargantuan, overgrown!
O huge! O gross! O squat!
Whose one redeeming virtue--one alone--
Is that you weigh a lot;
Who will not thrive upon the common soil,
So that the patient digger e'en must toil
To raise a special mound
Above the level ground
That you may sun yourself upon the sloping earth
And, like the wicked, wax to an uncommon girth.

But it is not your vast circumference
That stirs this passing strain;
I would not sing although, to move you hence,
They fetched their biggest crane;
It is that men should shovel tons of _that_
Into the maws of some capacious vat,
Add sugar (half-a-pound)
And stir it round and round;
Then, at the last, throw in some ginger with a spade
And label the result as "Lemon Marmalade."

* * * * *

From a description of the first flight of R 33:--

"Alas, the meteorological conditions, at first considered
probable, turned out worse."--_Yorkshire Paper_.

Nothing so likely as the improbable.

* * * * *

[Illustration: SENSATIONAL SURPRISE STRIKE OF HEROES IN CINEMA-LAND.

PICKETS OF HEROES PREVENT BLACKLEG COLLEAGUE FROM WORKING WHEN THE
HEROINE MOST PARTICULARLY NEEDS HELP.]

* * * * *

THE BIBLE IN PAIN.

MR. H.G. WELLS' new novel, based on the Book of Job, and Mr. ARNOLD
BENNETT'S new play dealing with the story of JUDITH and HOLOFERNES,
by no means exhaust the Biblical and Apocryphal motives from which our
popular writers are now drawing inspiration.

Mrs. HUMPHRY WARD'S next novel will be a minutely analytical study of
the contrasted temperaments of ESAU and JACOB, the one standing for
revolt and the other for a rather smooth and supple orthodoxy.

Mr. E. PHILLIPS OPPENHEIM is turning his attention to a new spy
romance woven about the experiences of CALEB and JOSHUA.

Professor CHALMERS MITCHELL has long been engaged on a monograph on
the Ark and its inmates, in which the famous zoologist will explain
the conditions under which the animals lived, the segregation and food
problems, and how the complexities following disembarcation were dealt
with by NOAH and his family. Lord PIRRIE is contributing a chapter
on the structure of the vessel, and