ought to me
but the nurse sent word she was too sick to be moved. I then begged the
nurse to come and tell me exactly what she thought of her, but she said
she could not leave her. I then crawled on my hands and knees into the
room, being unable then and for a long time after to bear my own weight.

What a scene our nursery presented! Everything upset and tossed about,
medicines here and there on the floor, a fire like a fiery furnace, and
Miss H. sitting hopelessly and with falling tears with the baby on a
pillow in her lap--all its boasted beauty gone forever. The sight was
appalling and its moans heart-rending. George came and got me back to my
sofa and said he felt as if he should jump out of the window every time
he heard that dreadful sound. He had to go out and made me promise not
to try to go to the nursery till his return. I foolishly promised. Mrs.
White [3] called, and I told her I was going to lose my baby; she was
very kind and went in to see it but I believe expressed no opinion as
to its state. But she repeated an expression which I repeated to myself
many times that day, and have repeated thousands of times since--"_God
never makes a mistake_."

Margaret went soon after she left to see how the poor little creature
was, and did not come back. Hour after hour passed and no one came. I
lay racked with cruel torture, bitterly regretting my promise to George,
listening to those moans till I was nearly wild. Then in a frenzy of
despair I pulled myself over to my bureau, where I had arranged the
dainty little garments my darling was to wear, and which I had promised
myself so much pleasure in seeing her wear. I took out everything she
would need for her burial, with a sort of wild pleasure in doing for her
one little service, where I had hoped before to render so many. She it
was whom we expected to fill our lost Eddy's vacant place; we thought
we had _had_ our sorrow and that now our joy had come. As I lay back
exhausted, with these garments on my breast, Louisa Shipman [4] opened
the door. One glance at my piteous face, for oh, how glad I was to see
her! made her burst into tears before she knew what she was crying for.

"Oh, go bring me news from my poor dying baby!" I almost screamed, as
she approached me. "And see, here are her grave-clothes." "Oh, Lizzy,
have you gone crazy?" cried she, with a fresh burst of tears. I besought
her to go, told her how my promise bound me, made her listen to those
terrible