FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   72   73   74   75   76   77   78   79   80   81   82   83   84   85   86   87   88   89   90   91   92   93   94   95   96  
97   98   99   100   101   102   103   104   105   106   107   108   109   110   111   112   113   114   115   116   117   118   119   120   121   >>   >|  
unrivalled love for Margaret had been his polar star. It was quenched, and he drifted on the gloomy sea of no hope. He rushed fiercely into pleasure, and in those days, more than now, pleasure was vice. The large sums he had put by for Margaret gave him ample means for debauchery, and he sought for a moment's oblivion in the excitements of the hour. "Ghysbrecht lives; Margaret dies!" he would try out. "Curse life, curse death, and whosoever made them what they are!" His heart deteriorated along with his morals, and he no longer had patience for his art, as the habits of pleasure grew on him. Then life itself became intolerable to Gerard, and one night, in resolute despair, he flung himself into the river. But he was not allowed to drown, and was carried, all unconscious, to the Dominican convent. Gerard awoke to find Father Jerome by his bedside. "Good Father Jerome, how came I hither?" he inquired. "By the hand of Heaven! You flung away God's gift. He bestowed it on you again. Think of it! Hast tried the world and found its gall. Now try the Church! The Church is peace. Pax vobiscum!" Gerard learnt that the man who had saved him from drowning was a professional assassin. Saved from death by an assassin! Was not this the finger of Heaven--of that Heaven he had insulted, cursed, and defied? He shuddered at his blasphemies. He tried to pray, but found he could only utter prayers, and could not pray. "I am doomed eternally!" he cried. "Doomed, doomed!" Then rose the voices of the choir chanting a full service. Among them was one that seemed to hover above the others--a sweet boy's voice, full, pure, angelic. He closed his eyes and listened. The days of his own boyhood flowed back upon him. "Ay," he sighed, "the Church is peace of mind. Till I left her bosom I ne'er knew sorrow, nor sin." And the poor torn, worn creature wept; and soon was at the knees of a kind old friar, confessing his every sin with sighs and groans of penitence. And, lo! Gerard could pray now, and he prayed with all his heart. He turned with terror and aversion from the world, and begged passionately to remain in the convent. To him, convent nurtured, it was like a bird returning wounded, wearied, to its gentle nest. He passed his novitiate in prayer and mortification and pious reading and meditation. And Gerard, carried from the Tiber into that convent a suicide, now passed for a young saint within its walls. Upo
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   72   73   74   75   76   77   78   79   80   81   82   83   84   85   86   87   88   89   90   91   92   93   94   95   96  
97   98   99   100   101   102   103   104   105   106   107   108   109   110   111   112   113   114   115   116   117   118   119   120   121   >>   >|  



Top keywords:

Gerard

 
convent
 

Church

 

Heaven

 

pleasure

 

Margaret

 
Jerome
 
carried
 

Father

 
doomed

assassin

 

passed

 

meditation

 

closed

 

shuddered

 

defied

 

listened

 

angelic

 
blasphemies
 

boyhood


eternally

 

Doomed

 

prayers

 

voices

 
service
 

suicide

 
chanting
 

prayed

 

turned

 
terror

aversion

 

penitence

 

groans

 

confessing

 

prayer

 

begged

 
returning
 

wounded

 

wearied

 

gentle


nurtured

 

novitiate

 

passionately

 

remain

 
sighed
 
reading
 

mortification

 

creature

 
sorrow
 

cursed