go because he had not imagined that I should choose to stay
where he was. I replied that I did not know who could have told His
Majesty anything so false and injurious, and that I had a much more
sincere respect and attachment for His Majesty than those who had thus
falsely accused me. The King then dismissed all the persons present,
and we had a long explanation, in the course of which the King told me
I hated Madame de Maintenon. I confessed that I did hate her, but only
through my attachment for him, and because she did me wrong to His
Majesty; nevertheless, I added that, if it were agreeable to him that I
should be reconciled to her, I was ready to become so. The good lady was
not prepared for this, or she would not have suffered the King to come to
me; he was, however, so satisfied that he remained favourable to me up to
his last hour. He made old Maintenon come, and said to her, "Madame is
willing to make friends with you." He then caused us to embrace, and
there the scene ended. He required her also to live upon good terms with
me, which she did in appearance, but secretly played me all sorts of
tricks. It was at this time a matter of indifference to me whether I
went to live at Montargis or not, but I would not have the appearance of
doing so in consequence of any disgrace, and as if I had committed some
offence for which I was driven from the Court. I had reason to fear,
besides, that at the end of two days' journey I might be left to die of
hunger, and to avoid this risk I chose rather to be reconciled to the
King. As to going into a convent, I never once thought of it, although
it was that which old Maintenon most desired. The Castle of Montargis is
my jointure; at Orleans there is no house. St. Cloud is not a part of
the hereditary property, but was bought by Monsieur with his own money.
Therefore my jointure produces nothing; all that I have to live on comes
from the King and my son. At the commencement of my widowhood I was left
unpaid, and there was an arrear of 300,000 francs due to me, which were
not paid until after the death of Louis XIV. What, then, would have
become of me if I had chosen to retire to Montargis? My household
expenses amounted annually to 298,758 livres.

Although Monsieur received considerable wealth with me, I was obliged,
after his death, to give up to my son the jewels, movables, pictures--in
short, all that had come from my family; otherwise I should not have had
enough to live a