heir behaviour served to mortify me: I
had desired my girls the preceding night to be drest early the next day;
for I always loved to be at church a good while before the rest of the
congregation. They punctually obeyed my directions; but when we were to
assemble in the morning at breakfast, down came my wife and daughters,
drest out in all their former splendour: their hair plaistered up with
pomatum, their faces patched to taste, their trains bundled up into an
heap behind, and rustling at every motion. I could not help smiling at
their vanity, particularly that of my wife, from whom I expected more
discretion. In this exigence, therefore, my only resource was to order
my son, with an important air, to call our coach. The girls were
amazed at the command; but I repeated it with more solemnity than
before.--'Surely, my dear, you jest,' cried my wife, 'we can walk it
perfectly well: we want no coach to carry us now.' 'You mistake, child,'
returned I, 'we do want a coach; for if we walk to church in this trim,
the very children in the parish will hoot after us.'--'Indeed,' replied
my wife, 'I always imagined that my Charles was fond of seeing his
children neat and handsome about him.'--'You may be as neat as you
please,' interrupted I, 'and I shall love you the better for it, but all
this is not neatness, but frippery. These rufflings, and pinkings,
and patchings, will only make us hated by all the wives of all our
neighbours. No, my children,' continued I, more gravely, 'those gowns
may be altered into something of a plainer cut; for finery is very
unbecoming in us, who want the means of decency. I do not know whether
such flouncing and shredding is becoming even in the rich, if we
consider, upon a moderate calculation, that the nakedness of the
indigent world may be cloathed from the trimmings of the vain.'

This remonstrance had the proper effect; they went with great composure,
that very instant, to change their dress; and the next day I had the
satisfaction of finding my daughters, at their own request employed in
cutting up their trains into Sunday waistcoats for Dick and Bill, the
two little ones, and what was still more satisfactory, the gowns seemed
improved by this curtailing.

CHAPTER 5

A new and great acquaintance introduced. What we place most hopes upon,
generally proves most fatal

At a small distance from the house my predecessor had made a seat,
overshaded by an hedge of hawthorn and honeysuck