t, under my coat, under my cravat, and melted
there. I did not wrap myself up--all was lost, anyway.

At last we arrived. I jumped out, almost unconscious, ran up the steps
and began knocking and kicking at the door. I felt fearfully weak,
particularly in my legs and knees. The door was opened quickly as
though they knew I was coming. As a fact, Simonov had warned them that
perhaps another gentleman would arrive, and this was a place in which
one had to give notice and to observe certain precautions. It was one
of those "millinery establishments" which were abolished by the police
a good time ago. By day it really was a shop; but at night, if one had
an introduction, one might visit it for other purposes.

I walked rapidly through the dark shop into the familiar drawing-room,
where there was only one candle burning, and stood still in amazement:
there was no one there. "Where are they?" I asked somebody. But by
now, of course, they had separated. Before me was standing a person
with a stupid smile, the "madam" herself, who had seen me before. A
minute later a door opened and another person came in.

Taking no notice of anything I strode about the room, and, I believe, I
talked to myself. I felt as though I had been saved from death and was
conscious of this, joyfully, all over: I should have given that slap, I
should certainly, certainly have given it! But now they were not here
and ... everything had vanished and changed! I looked round. I could
not realise my condition yet. I looked mechanically at the girl who
had come in: and had a glimpse of a fresh, young, rather pale face,
with straight, dark eyebrows, and with grave, as it were wondering,
eyes that attracted me at once; I should have hated her if she had been
smiling. I began looking at her more intently and, as it were, with
effort. I had not fully collected my thoughts. There was something
simple and good-natured in her face, but something strangely grave. I
am sure that this stood in her way here, and no one of those fools had
noticed her. She could not, however, have been called a beauty, though
she was tall, strong-looking, and well built. She was very simply
dressed. Something loathsome stirred within me. I went straight up to
her.

I chanced to look into the glass. My harassed face struck me as
revolting in the extreme, pale, angry, abject, with dishevelled hair.
"No matter, I am glad of it," I thought; "I am glad that I shall s