other reasons to offer now--viz.
that those men were enemies to my life, and would devour me if they
could; that it was self-preservation, in the highest degree, to deliver
myself from this death of a life, and was acting in my own defence as
much as if they were actually assaulting me, and the like; I say though
these things argued for it, yet the thoughts of shedding human blood for
my deliverance were very terrible to me, and such as I could by no means
reconcile myself to for a great while. However, at last, after many
secret disputes with myself, and after great perplexities about it (for
all these arguments, one way and another, struggled in my head a long
time), the eager prevailing desire of deliverance at length mastered all
the rest; and I resolved, if possible, to get one of these savages into
my hands, cost what it would. My next thing was to contrive how to do
it, and this, indeed, was very difficult to resolve on; but as I could
pitch upon no probable means for it, so I resolved to put myself upon the
watch, to see them when they came on shore, and leave the rest to the
event; taking such measures as the opportunity should present, let what
would be.

With these resolutions in my thoughts, I set myself upon the scout as
often as possible, and indeed so often that I was heartily tired of it;
for it was above a year and a half that I waited; and for great part of
that time went out to the west end, and to the south-west corner of the
island almost every day, to look for canoes, but none appeared. This was
very discouraging, and began to trouble me much, though I cannot say that
it did in this case (as it had done some time before) wear off the edge
of my desire to the thing; but the longer it seemed to be delayed, the
more eager I was for it: in a word, I was not at first so careful to shun
the sight of these savages, and avoid being seen by them, as I was now
eager to be upon them. Besides, I fancied myself able to manage one,
nay, two or three savages, if I had them, so as to make them entirely
slaves to me, to do whatever I should direct them, and to prevent their
being able at any time to do me any hurt. It was a great while that I
pleased myself with this affair; but nothing still presented itself; all
my fancies and schemes came to nothing, for no savages came near me for a
great while.

About a year and a half after I entertained these notions (and by long
musing had, as it were, resolved them a