surprise at so
unnecessary a communication. You must at least have felt that my being
acquainted with it could not add to its safety."
As she said this, she looked earnestly at Lucy, hoping to discover
something in her countenance; perhaps the falsehood of the greatest
part of what she had been saying; but Lucy's countenance suffered no
change.
"I was afraid you would think I was taking a great liberty with you,"
said she, "in telling you all this. I have not known you long to be
sure, personally at least, but I have known you and all your family by
description a great while; and as soon as I saw you, I felt almost as
if you was an old acquaintance. Besides in the present case, I really
thought some explanation was due to you after my making such particular
inquiries about Edward's mother; and I am so unfortunate, that I have
not a creature whose advice I can ask. Anne is the only person that
knows of it, and she has no judgment at all; indeed, she does me a
great deal more harm than good, for I am in constant fear of her
betraying me. She does not know how to hold her tongue, as you must
perceive, and I am sure I was in the greatest fright in the world
t'other day, when Edward's name was mentioned by Sir John, lest she
should out with it all. You can't think how much I go through in my
mind from it altogether. I only wonder that I am alive after what I
have suffered for Edward's sake these last four years. Every thing in
such suspense and uncertainty; and seeing him so seldom--we can hardly
meet above twice a-year. I am sure I wonder my heart is not quite
broke."
Here she took out her handkerchief; but Elinor did not feel very
compassionate.
"Sometimes." continued Lucy, after wiping her eyes, "I think whether it
would not be better for us both to break off the matter entirely." As
she said this, she looked directly at her companion. "But then at
other times I have not resolution enough for it.-- I cannot bear the
thoughts of making him so miserable, as I know the very mention of such
a thing would do. And on my own account too--so dear as he is to me--I
don't think I could be equal to it. What would you advise me to do in
such a case, Miss Dashwood? What would you do yourself?"
"Pardon me," replied Elinor, startled by the question; "but I can give
you no advice under such circumstances. Your own judgment must direct
you."
"To be sure," continued Lucy, after a few minutes silence on both
s
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