e
of it just like the inside of a pie."

"Hullo, Fatty," said the Copy-book to the Dictionary.

"Hullo, Thinny!" retorted the Dictionary.

"You're a wordy person, Fatty," said the Copy-book.

"You're an empty thing, Thinny," said the Dictionary.

"Bound to have the last word, eh, Fatty!" sneered the Copy-book.

"Need it in my business, Thinny," said the Dictionary, and the Umbrella
in the library corner laughed so hard that it bent one of its ribs.

NOT A WEATHER INDICATOR.

An amusing story is told by a sea-captain in relation to the ignorance
of his steward, whom he had directed to wind the chronometer in the
cabin every morning regularly during his contemplated absence from the
ship.

Now a chronometer is nothing but a finely regulated timepiece used by
navigators. On its face is a small circle having a hand, and at two
points on this circle are the words "Up" and "Wind." When the instrument
is wound the little arrow-band points to "Up," and after the chronometer
has run twenty-four hours the arrow stands against "Wind," meaning that
it is time for it to be wound.

When the Captain returned to his ship, the steward reported to him that
he had obeyed orders, and wound the chronometer faithfully every day,
and then added that he, personally, did not think much of its ability to
foretell weather.

"What do you mean?" asked the puzzled Captain. "What has a chronometer
got to do with the weather?"

"Why," replied the manipulator of sailors' hash and plum-duff, "every
morning the arrow would say that we were going to have wind, and half
the time it was a flat calm."

A TERRIBLE THREAT.

"I don't yike you, Aunt Jennie," said Wilbur, after his aunt had
interfered with some cherished idea he had in mind. "An' if you don't
let me alone I'll save up my pottet-money an' buy a tapir."

"A what?" asked his aunt.

"A tapir," said Wilbur. "An' tapirs _they eats ants_!"

JUST THE OTHER WAY.

Jimmieboy has a very unbreakable habit of getting up at night and
running in to his father's room and jumping into bed with him. He was
once chided for this.

"I'm glad to have you come in the morning, but don't come too early,"
was the end of the lecture. The next night, however, Jimmieboy came
bouncing in at one o'clock.

"Didn't I tell you not to do this, Jimmieboy?" he was asked.

"No," replied Jimmieboy. "You told me not to come early. This isn't
early--it's awful late. After one o'cl