FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   34   35   36   37   38   39   40   41   42   43   44   45   46   47   48   49   50   51   52   53   54   55   56   57   58  
59   60   61   62   63   64   65   66   67   68   69   70   71   72   73   74   75   76   77   78   79   80   81   82   83   >>   >|  
ssed, and to suppress all that Common Sense would have carried forward, to sacrifice all the inter-relations with others that constituted his outer life--even as he had already sacrificed the expression of his corresponding inner life; retaining only his emotional unrest. And the seductive picture of the scented serpent-woman, ever smiling at him now with gleaming teeth, symbolised the future for him, and alone preserved the continuity of interest that stimulated him to go forward at all. His attitude, in some respects, was analogous to that of a romantic boy playing with the idea of running away from home, drawn by visions of marvellous adventures in strange lands. The sequel might be vague and in the clouds, but that very fact only made it the more fascinating. His temperament had said to him that evening: "Let your business still be poetry, but weave it out of life instead of out of words." The thought resurged in his brain and then it struck him as crystallising his whole feeling about the future course of his existence, as furnishing the key to his position. To make of life a fantasy, a poem, a dream! The idea was an illumination. But beyond a half-considered intention of changing to humbler rooms and hiding therein from his world, he did not meditate any definite activity. The feeling at the bottom of his mind was rather that events would shape themselves. To this attitude of passivity his whole life had tended. His will-strength had gone into his passionate desire of poetic achievement, and were it not that he had, so to speak, grown into relation with others, his life would have been utterly static. The movement of their lives alone had taken his along. He had not the least idea now how he was going to become acquainted with the strange woman who filled his thoughts, but, without actually translating his feelings on the point into definite terms, he counted it as a certainty that a path would somehow be opened. It pleased him, too, to think that he owed his cognisance of her existence to that first impulse which had caused him to write to Ingram. That fantastic initiation had set in motion fantastic life-waves that were now flowing back to him. For others the regularities of existence, the steady round of work, the care and hoarding of money; for him the mystery and the colour of life! And in a flash of insight he seemed to understand that the poet in him had already asserted itself in his life as
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   34   35   36   37   38   39   40   41   42   43   44   45   46   47   48   49   50   51   52   53   54   55   56   57   58  
59   60   61   62   63   64   65   66   67   68   69   70   71   72   73   74   75   76   77   78   79   80   81   82   83   >>   >|  



Top keywords:

existence

 

feeling

 

fantastic

 

strange

 

attitude

 
future
 

definite

 

forward

 

activity

 

static


movement
 

meditate

 

filled

 

acquainted

 

bottom

 

utterly

 

achievement

 
tended
 

passivity

 

strength


passionate

 

poetic

 

desire

 

events

 

relation

 

pleased

 
regularities
 
steady
 

flowing

 
initiation

motion

 

understand

 

asserted

 
insight
 

hoarding

 

mystery

 

colour

 

Ingram

 
counted
 

certainty


translating

 

feelings

 

opened

 

impulse

 

caused

 

cognisance

 
thoughts
 
stimulated
 

respects

 

interest