Why they should hit the 'bus' when I have a brand-new pair of
trench boots that I had never worn, I dunno." Just then and there the case
cooked out and a piece of shell cut between us and buried itself deep in
the support of a dugout, so we got under cover.

[Illustration]

"Whiz-Bangs."

In the group was a splendid type of army chaplain. He came over almost at
the start of the war and had seen a great deal of the open warfare at the
commencement of hostilities. He said: "My friend Fritz is not through;
he'll try to do some more yet." As the smoke died down and the cracking
stopped, the enemy decided that an attempt would be made either to carry
out salvage of whatever they had hit or else we would try to get the
wounded away. So without any preliminary warning the whole area was
covered by a battery fire of _whiz bangs_, and the shrapnel bullets came
down like rain, several men being hit. The fire eventually died down and
the wreck was allowed to cool off. The "Archies" are used so much to keep
the aeroplanes up, and next to the loss of his boots the officer in charge
was worried by the fact that the enemy would send an aeroplane over to see
what they had hit. It was very necessary to keep the planes away, because
at this time there were one hundred and fourteen batteries of artillery in
the neighborhood.

Later on the battery commander came down, and as he looked at the red-hot
armor plates he said: "Five thousand pounds gone up in smoke. Sorry I
missed the fireworks." The Divisional general called him up at the dugout
and gave him areas for the distribution of the four anti-aircraft guns and
cars comprising his battery. After he was through the commander replied:
"Very good, sir, that will be done with all the guns except the third
gun." The voice over the wire became very dignified, a preliminary to
becoming sulphuric. "What do you mean, all but the third gun?" "Because,
sir, the enemy has just 'crumped' the third gun and all that remains of it
is scrap iron."

One of the battalions has a fine victrola in the officers' mess dugout
with a good selection of records. I have heard Caruso accompanied on the
outside by an orchestra of guns. It was a wonderful mixture. Speaking of
canned music reminds me we have a small portable trench machine, which
closes up like a valise, easily handled and carried about. One man near
had a box full of needles distributed