ll be
proud of, that the old regular chaplains were spoken of by officers
and men alike as padres. I, who had no part in winning the name,
feel a real satisfaction when I open a letter from man or officer and
find that it begins "Dear Padre."

And yet--there is a certain playfulness in the name. A padre is not
one of the serious things in army life. No such nickname attaches or
could attach to a C.O. or a sergeant-major. They matter. A padre does
not matter much. Religion, his proper business, is an extra, like
music lessons at a public school. Music is a great art, of course. No
one denies it, chiefly because no normal boy thinks about it at all.
The real affairs of life are the Latin grammar and the cricket bat.
There is a master who gives music lessons to those who want such
things. He may be an amiable and estimable man; but compared to a
form master or the ex-blue who is capable of making his century
against first-class bowling, he is nobody.

Some feeling of that kind finds expression in the nickname "padre."
It is not contempt. There is not room for real contempt alongside of
the affection which the name implies. It's just a sense that, neither
for good nor evil, is the padre of much importance. It is impossible
to imagine King Henry speaking of Thomas a Becket as the padre. He
hated that archbishop, and he also feared him, so he called him, not
a padre, but a turbulent priest.

Is the kingdom of heaven best advanced by men who strike the world as
being "padres" or by "turbulent priests"? It is a very nice question.

There is yet another way in which we get at that most elusive thing,
popular opinion. Stories are told and jokes passed from mouth to
mouth. It is not the least necessary that the stories should be true,
literally. They are indeed much more likely to give us what we want,
a glimpse into the mind of the average man, if they are cheerily
unconnected with sordid facts. No one supposes that any colonial
colonel ever begged his men not to address him as "Sam" in the
presence of an English general. But the story gives us a true idea of
the impression made on the minds of the home army by the democratic
spirit of the men from overseas.

I only know one padre story which has become universally popular. It
takes the form of a dialogue.

Sentry: "Who goes there?"

Padre: "Chaplain."

Sentry: "Pass, Charlie Chaplin, and all's well."

It is not a very instructive story, though the pun is