in the enjoyment of an
excess of money contrary to the whispers of a sensitive conscience. And
if at the same time this renunciation of that which less enlightened
souls esteemed as a chief good should be abetted by the sympathy of a
companion soul, what bliss might not be in store for two lives so wedded
to progress and to love!

Such was the substance of Mr. Spence's communication; and when he
ceased, my feelings were still so doubtful that I sat looking into space
as though to find counsel elsewhere than from my own heart. He had
spoken,--deemed it only right to speak, he said,--before closing, of the
criticism to which so unusual an act would expose me. I should be called
eccentric, and doubtless by many crazy; and the terms of contempt and
ridicule already cast at him would be visited, in equal degree, upon his
wife. It was this idea of martyrdom, joined to the deep interest I had
in the doctrines of Moderation, that now took possession of my fancy and
made me incline to accede to his request. Not that I sought ostracism
and abuse,--far from it; the very mention of these things oppressed me
with dread. But there was to me an inspiring sense of nobility in the
thought of a man giving up his life to the prosecution of a great truth
indifferent to scoffs and sneers, that made the blood course more
swiftly through my veins. If such a one could be made happier, and his
power of usefulness increased by any act of mine, no sacrifice seemed
too large. For what was I, or what was the value of anything I might do,
compared with the progress of humanity as a whole? I could not give him
love, perhaps, and the freshness of a young heart; but sympathy and
encouragement and the co-operation of a mind deeply interested in the
cause with which he was identified, might do much to make the struggle
more easy and success speedier. Was I likely ever to meet with any one
more congenial? What better use could I make of my life?

These thoughts came to me not only then, but afterwards when Mr. Spence
had gone and I was left alone to make up my mind. I had told him that he
must give me time; it was impossible for me to decide at the moment.
What he had said was so bewildering, and the condition of any possible
marriage between us of so serious a character, that I was at a loss for
an answer. But I warned him not to feel too much encouragement because I
did not give him an immediate reply; the chances were more than likely
that upon reflec