ood one of the fine arts. I had just scolded severely my Lord High
Chancellor for coming to breakfast without combing his eyebrows, and was
so sad and regretful at having hurt the poor man's feelings that I
decided to shut myself up in my own room and study the scroll until I
knew how to be good--hee, heek, keek, eek, eek!--to be good! Clever
idea, that, wasn't it? Mighty clever! And I issued a decree that no one
should enter my room, under pain of my royal displeasure, until I was
ready to come out. They're awfully afraid of my royal displeasure,
although not a bit afraid of me. Then I put the parchment in my pocket
and escaped through the back door to my boat--and here I am. Oo,
hoo-hoo, keek-eek! Imagine the fuss there would be in Gilgad if my
subjects knew where I am this very minute!"

"I would like to see that parchment," said the solemn-eyed Prince Inga,
"for if it indeed teaches one to be good it must be worth its weight in
pearls."

"Oh, it's a fine essay," said Rinkitink, "and beautifully written with a
goosequill. Listen to this: You'll enjoy it--tee, hee, hee!--enjoy it."

He took from his pocket a scroll of parchment tied with a black ribbon,
and having carefully unrolled it, he proceeded to read as follows:

"'A Good Man is One who is Never Bad.' How's that, eh? Fine thought,
what? 'Therefore, in order to be Good, you must avoid those Things which
are Evil.' Oh, hoo-hoo-hoo!--how clever! When I get back I shall make
the man who wrote that a royal hippolorum, for, beyond question, he is
the wisest man in my kingdom--as he has often told me himself." With
this, Rinkitink lay back in his chair and chuckled his queer chuckle
until he coughed, and coughed until he choked and choked until he
sneezed. And he wrinkled his face in such a jolly, droll way that few
could keep from laughing with him, and even the good Queen was forced to
titter behind her fan.

When Rinkitink had recovered from his fit of laughter and had wiped his
eyes upon a fine lace handkerchief, Prince Inga said to him:

"The parchment speaks truly."

"Yes, it is true beyond doubt," answered Rinkitink, "and if I could
persuade Bilbil to read it he would be a much better goat than he is
now. Here is another selection: 'To avoid saying Unpleasant Things,
always Speak Agreeably.' That would hit Bilbil, to a dot. And here is
one that applies to you, my Prince: 'Good Children are seldom punished,
for the reason that they deserve no punishment.'