called upon
to go into another fight, where there was any chance of anybody being
killed, I would just have a relapse, and go to the hospital again till
it was over. I had heard of fellows being taken suddenly ill when a
fight was in prospect, and I knew they were always laughed at, but I
made up my mind that I had rather be laughed at than to hurt anybody.
There was no thought of sneaking out of a fight because of the danger of
being killed myself, but I just didn't want to shoot any friends of that
girl who had nursed me when I was sick. These thoughts kept coming to me
for a week or more, and one evening it was rumored around that we were
liable to be attacked the next day. Some of our regiments had been out
all day, and they reported the enemy marching on our position, in force.
The rebels that lived in town could not conceal their joy at the idea
that we were to be cleaned out. They would hint that there were enough
Confederates concentrating at that point to drive every Yankee into the
river, and they were actually preparing bandages and lint, to take care
of the Confederates who might be wounded. If we had taken their word for
it there wouldn't be a Yankee left in town, when the Confederate boys
begun to get in their work. I went to bed that night resolved that I
should not be so well in the morning, and would go to surgeon's call,
and be sent to the hospital. But I didn't like the way those rebels
talked about the coming fight. Egad, if they were so sure our fellows
were going to be whipped, may be I would stay and see about it. If they
thought any of our fellows were going to slink out, when they made their
brags about whipping us, they would find their mistake. However, if I
didn't feel very well in the morning, I would go to surgeon's call, but
I wouldn't go to the hospital. In the meantime, I would just see if I
had cartridges enough for much of a row, and rub up the old carbine a
little, for luck. Not that. I wanted to shoot anybody dead, but I could
shoot their horses, and make the blasted rebels walk, anyway. And so all
that evening I was part of the time trying to see my way clear to get
out of a regular fight, where anybody would be liable to get hurt,
and again I was wondering if my sickness had injured my eyesight so I
couldn't take good aim at the buttons on a rebel's coat. I was about
half and half. If the rebels would let us alone, and not bring on a
disturbance, I was for peace at any price, but gol