5.

SOUPS

Soup a la Bully Beef. Soup a l'Oxo.

FISH

Salmon (and Shrimp Paste) without Mayonnaise Sauce.
Sardines a l'Huile (if anyone provides them).

ENTREES

Maconochie, very old.
Bully beef and boiled potatoes.

SWEETS

Pineapple Chunks, fresh from the tin.
English Currant Cake.

SAVOURY

Welsh Rarebit.

I read through the menu, and decided to risk it, and, procuring the
necessary crockery, I clanked through fully half a mile of trenches to C
Company. The officers' dug-out was in the cellar of an old cottage which
just came in our line of trenches. The only access to it was by means of
a very narrow stairway which led down from the trench. The interior,
when I arrived, was lit by three candles stuck in bottles, which showed
officers in almost every vacant spot, with the exception of one corner,
where a telephone orderly was situated with his apparatus. I occupied
the only untenanted piece of ground I could find, and awaited events.

The soup was upset, as the moment when the servant was about to bring it
down from the outer air was the moment chosen for a rehearsal of that
famous game, "Here comes the General." The rules of this game are
simple. The moment anyone utters the magic phrase there is an immediate
rush for the steps, the winner of the game being he who manages to
arrive at the top first and thus impress the imaginary general with his
smartness.

The soup stood but a poor chance in a stampede of eleven officers, the
candles were kicked out, and a long argument ensued as to whose plate
was which, and why Martin's spoon should have gone down Fenton's neck,
and if the latter should be made to forfeit his own spoon to make up for
his unintentional theft.

Order was at length restored, and the meal was proceeding in comparative
peace, when, suddenly, Jones, who had not been invited to the luncheon,
appeared at the top of the steps.

"I say, you fellows," he cried excitedly. "Here comes the General."

"Liar!" shouted someone. But the magic words could not be allowed to
pass unnoticed, even though we were eating pineapple chunks at the time,
and they are very sticky if you upset them over your clothes.

A fearful scramble took place, in which everyone--with the exception of
Walters, who placed himself in the further corner with the tin of
pineapple--tried to go together up steps which were just broad enough to
allow the passage of one man at a time.