d gone well on board. Randy was much amused by the
passengers, especially those who were peculiar in their manners. There
was one fussy old gentleman who went up and down the river twice a
week. He always wanted to sit in a corner in the shade and asked a
dozen times a day if they weren't behindhand.

"We are exactly on time," said Randy, to him, one day.

"Hum!" cried the old gentleman, consulting a watch he carried. "I think
we are twenty minutes behindhand."

"We haven't been twenty minutes behindhand since I've been on the
boat," said Randy, as he moved off.

The old gentleman grumbled to himself and restored his timepiece to his
pocket.

A minute later Randy saw an Englishman saunter along the deck and stop
close to the old gentleman. Randy had noticed the Englishman before,
because he spoke with a strong Cockney accent--that is, he dropped h's
where they were wanted and put them in when not needed. At this time
the steamboat was just approaching the Highlands.

The Englishman pointed to the Highlands with his cane and addressed the
old gentleman.

"Hexcuse me," he said, "but are those the 'Ighlands you brag about in
this country?"

"The islands?" was the astonished reply.

"Why, no, sir, those are not islands at all. Have you never studied
geography? An island is entirely surrounded by water," continued the
fussy old gentleman.

"Oh, you mean hilands. I don't mean them at all, don't you know. I
repeat, are those the 'Ighlands you talk about so much?" went on the
Cockney, blandly.

"They are not islands, sir--they are the Highlands," shouted the old
gentleman.

"Just exactly what I said, sir--the 'Ighlands."

"No, not islands--Highlands."

"Hexactly."

"But you said islands."

"No, I did not say hilands, I said the 'Ighlands," went on the Cockney.
"Hevidently you don't understand good, plain Henglish," and he walked
off in disgust.

"The imp, the blithering imp," growled the old gentleman. "May he never
come near me again!"

At one of the landings a barrel for use on the boat broke, spilling
some fancy flour on the deck. Randy was clearing up the muss when the
purser, Peter Polk, came along. Our hero did not witness his approach,
and consequently the purser received some dust on his shoes, which had
just been polished.

"Hi! hi! Have a care there!" he cried. "What do you mean by covering me
with dust?"

"Excuse me, sir," said Randy, hastily. "I didn't see you coming."

"I just had tho