-like for us twa," exclaimed the beadle, "tae be
stravagin' ower the country for three or fower days like wild geese,
but the pairish micht expect something. Noo, a 've hed ma share o' a
Presbytery an' a Synod, tae say naethin' o' Kirk Sessions, but a 've
never seen an Assembly.

"Gin you cud get a place, a' wud spend ma time considering hoo the
officer comes in, and hoo he lays doon the buke an' sic-like; a' micht
get a hint," said John, with much modesty.

So John went alone for his wedding tour, and being solemnly introduced
to Thomas, the chief of all beadles, discussed mysteries with him unto
great edification; but he was chiefly impressed by the Clerk of the
Free Kirk Assembly--into which he had wandered on an errand of
exploration--who was a fiery-faced old gentleman with a stentorian
voice and the heart of a little child.

"Ye never heard him cry, 'Officer, shut the door,' afore a vote?" he
inquired of the Doctor. "Weel, ye 've missed a real pleesure, sir; gin
ye stude on Princes Street, wi' the wind frae the richt airt, ye micht
hear him. A' never heard onything better dune; hoo ony man wi' sic a
face and voice cud be content ootside the Auld Kirk passes me."

John was so enamoured of this performance that after much cogitation he
unburdened his mind to the Doctor, and showed how such a means of grace
might be extended to Drumtochty.

"Noo, if there wes nae objection in order, aifter ye hed settled in the
pulpit, an' hed yir first snuff, ye micht say, 'Officer, shut the
door.' Then a' wud close the kirk door deleeberately in sicht o' the
hale congregation an' come back tae ma place, an' Peter Rattray himsel'
wudna daur tae show his face aifter that. Ye hae the voice an' the
manner, Doctor, an' it's no richt tae wyste them."

In public John defended the Doctor's refusal as a proof of his
indulgence to the prodigals of the parish, but with his intimates he
did not conceal his belief that the opportunity had been lost of
bringing the service in Drumtochty Kirk to absolute perfection. John's
own mind still ran on the mighty utterance, and so it came to pass that
the question of mastery in the kitchen of the manse under the new
_regime_ was settled within a week after his ecclesiastical honeymoon.

"Rebecca"--this with a voice of thunder from the fireplace, where the
beadle was reading the _Muirtown Advertiser_--"shut the door."

The silence was so imperative that John turned round, and saw his
spouse