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_August 25_

The other day Topsy had the misfortune to fall out of bed and hit her
two front teeth such a violent blow on the iron bar of the cot beside
hers that bits of ivory flew about the dormitory. This necessitated a
prompt matutinal visit to Dr. B., the dentist. As we waited our turn
in the Convalescent Room, I overheard one patient-to-be remark to his
neighbour, "They do be shockin' hard on us poor sailors. They says
I've got to take a bath when I comes into hospital. Why, B'y, I hasn't
had a bath since my mother washed me!"

The ethics of dentistry here are so mixed that one needs a Solomon to
disentangle them. Mrs. "Uncle Life"--her husband is Uncle
Eliphalet--recently had all her teeth pulled out, or, to be more
accurate, all her remaining teeth. As the operation involved
considerable time, labour, and novocaine, she was charged for the
benefit of the hospital. When two shining sets, uppers and lowers,
were ready for her, she was as pleased as a boy with his first
jack-knife; but not so Uncle Life. He considered it a work of
supererogation that not only must one pay to have the old teeth
removed, but for the new ones to replace them.

Did I ever write you about our chambermaid's feet--the new one? Her
name is Asenath, and she is so perfectly spherical that if you were to
start her rolling down a plank she could no more stop than can those
humpty-dumpty weighted dolls. 'Senath's temper is exemplary, and her
intentions of the best; in fact, she will turn into a model maid.

But the process of turning is in progress at the moment. It began with
our cook, a pattern of neatness and all the virtues, coming into my
office and complaining, "One of us'll have to go, miss."

"What? Which?" I enquired, dazed by the abruptness of this decision,
and wondering whether she were referring to me.

"This morning, miss, you know how hot it was? Well, 'Senath comes into
the kitchen and says to me, 'Tryphena, I finds my feet something
wonderful.' 'Wash them, and change your stockings,' I says. 'Wash
them! Why, Tryphena, I'se feared to do that. I might get a chill as
would strike in.'"

In a few well-chosen sentences I have explained to 'Senath the basic
rules of hygiene and of this house regarding water and its uses. She
has decided to stay and accept the inevitable weekly bath, but she
warns me fairly that if she goes "into a decline," I must take the
responsibility with her parents!

With your zeal for