THE UNWRITTEN TREATY.

"Be careful," said the worm to the slug, "there is one of those nasty
birds over there. What ugly things they are!"

"Not half so ugly as men. Ugh!" said the slug.

"Men are big, not ugly. They don't eat worms."

"But they cut them in two with spades."

"Only by accident. There is nothing so ugly as a bloated over-grown
bird eating a slender delicate worm."

"Except," said the slug, "a monstrous man crushing a tender slug under
his clumsy hoofs. Birds I can tolerate. They are not so big as men."

"But they hop quicker and eat more for their size," said the worm.

"Not slugs, they don't eat slugs. We have a treaty with the birds, you
know."

"Was it signed?" asked the worm.

"There was no need. You see it is a matter of convenience. We don't
get eaten, and the birds don't get their beaks slimy."

"Convenience is a great thing," said the worm, "but it isn't
everything. Well, good-bye; I am going in till the bird goes."

"And I am staying out till the man comes."

"Slugs are nasty slimy things," said the thrush, "but in these hard
times one must eat what one can get," and he swallowed the slug with a
wry face.

* * * * *

WELL-MEANT.

Extract from a New Zealand school-boy's letter:--

"We also had songs, the College song, and the Harrow School song, for
the special benifit (_sic_) of the Governor, who is an Etonian."

* * * * *

[Illustration:_Motor-Launch Officer_ (_who has rung for full-speed
without result_). "WHAT'S THE MATTER?"

_Voice from below_. "ONE OF THE CYLINDERS IS MISSING, SIR."

_Commander_. "WELL, LOOK SHARP AND FIND THE BALLY THING--WE WANT TO
GET ON."]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)

I was some way into _Thorgills of Treadholt_ (WARD, LOCK), thinking
what an unusually plausible and imaginative yarn it was, when I turned
back for possible enlightenment, and found a note to the effect that
it was a transcription of an Icelandic saga. Those old fellows knew
their business. I am not sagacious enough to guess where Mr. MAURICE
HEWLETT has passed beyond transcription to creation, but I can tell
you that he offers his readers a very charming and finished piece of
work. Boys of all ages should delight in this record of the fights and
wanderings and stout diplomacy of the chieftain _Thorgills_, who was
destined from hi