o the heretics when they quote them passidges agin thransubstantiation
out ov the Fathers?" says he.

"Why," says his Riv'rence, "as there should be no sich passidges I make
myself mighty aisy about them; but if you want to know how I dispose ov
them," says he, "just repate one ov them, and I'll show you how to
catapomphericate it in two shakes."

"Why, then," says the Pope, "myself disremimbers the particlar passidges
they alledge out ov them ould felleys," says he, "though sure enough
they're more numerous nor edifying--so we'll jist suppose that a heretic
was to find sich a saying as this in Austin, 'Every sensible man knows
that thransubstantiation is a lie,'--or this out of Tertullian or
Plutarch, 'the bishop ov Room is a common imposther,'--now tell me,
could you answer him?"

"As easy as kiss," says his Riv'rence. "In the first, we're to
understand that the exprission, 'Every sinsible man,' signifies simply,
'Every man that judges by his nath'ral sinses;' and we all know that
nobody folleying them seven deludhers could ever find out the mysthery
that's in it, if somebody didn't come in to his assistance wid an eighth
sinse, which is the only sinse to be depended on, being the sinse ov the
Church. So that, regarding the first quotation which your Holiness has
supposed, it makes clane for us, and tee-totally agin the heretics."

"That's the explanation sure enough," says his Holiness; "and now what
div you say to my being a common imposther?"

"Faix, I think," says his Riv'rence, "wid all submission to the betther
judgment ov the learned father that your Holiness has quoted, he'd have
been a thrifle nearer the thruth, if he had said that the bishop ov Room
is the grand imposther and top-sawyer in that line over us all."

"What do you mane?" says the Pope, getting quite red in the face.

"What would I mane," says his Riv'rence, as composed as a docther ov
physic, "but that your Holiness is at the head ov all them--troth I had
a'most forgot I wasn't a bishop myself," says he (the deludher was going
to say, as the head of all _uz_)--"that has the gift ov laying on hands.
For sure," says he, "imposther and _imposithir_ is all one, so you're
only to undherstand _manuum_, and the job is done. Awouich!" says he,
"if any heretic 'ud go for to cast up sich a passidge as that agin me,
I'd soon give him a lesson in the p'lite art ov cutting a stick to welt
his own back wid."

"'Pon my apostolical word," says the Pope,