nd the silk linings and white tassels, and the
squabs and the yellow cushions and the crimson carpet looked so
comfortable, that, as I stood contemplating the equipage, I said to
myself, "What have I done to deserve _this_?--O that my poor father were
alive to see his boy Jack going down to Westminster, to chop sticks and
count hobnails, in a carriage like this!" My children were like mad
things: and in the afternoon, when I put on my first new brown court
suit (lined, like my chariot, with white silk) and fitted up with cut
steel buttons, just to try the effect, it all appeared like a dream; the
sword, which I tried on every night for half an hour after I went up to
bed, to practise walking with it, was very inconvenient at first; but
use is second nature; and so by rehearsing and rehearsing, I made myself
perfect before that auspicious day when Sheriffs flourish and geese
prevail--namely, the twenty-ninth of September.

The twelve months which followed were very delightful; for independently
of the _positive_ honour and _eclat_ they produced, I had the Mayoralty
in _prospectu_ (having attained my aldermanic gown by an immense
majority the preceding year), and as I used during the sessions to sit
in my box at the Old Bailey, with my bag at my back and my bouquet on my
book, my thoughts were wholly devoted to one object of contemplation;
culprits stood trembling to hear the verdict of a jury, and I regarded
them not; convicts knelt to receive the fatal fiat of the Recorder, and
I heeded not their sufferings, as I watched the Lord Mayor seated in the
centre of the bench, with the sword of justice stuck up in a goblet over
his head--there, thought I, if I live two years, shall _I_ sit--however,
even as it was, it was very agreeable. When executions, the chief
drawbacks to my delight, happened, I found, after a little seasoning, I
took the thing coolly, and enjoyed my toast and tea after the patients
were turned off, just as if nothing had happened; for, in _my_ time, we
hanged at eight and breakfasted at a quarter after, so that without much
hurry we were able to finish our muffins just in time for the cutting
down at nine. I had to go to the House of Commons with a petition, and
to Court with an address--trying situations for one of the
Scroppses--however, the want of state in parliament, and the very little
attention paid to us by the members, put me quite at my ease at
Westminster; while the gracious urbanity of our acc