thinkin'
One longs for some relief from "blinkin'."

Still Mr. BALFOUR, so I hear,
Seldom goes further than "O dear!"
While moments of annoyance draw
"Bother" at worst from BONAR LAW.

Hence, if our leaders in their style
Are able to suppress their bile,
And practise noble moderation
In comment and in objurgation,

Why should not I, a doggerel bard,
All futile expletives discard,
And discipline my restive soul
With salutary cuss-control?

* * * * *

ERRARE EST DIABOLICUM.

From the Indian author of an Anglo-vernacular text-book:--

"As the book had to go through the press in haste I am sorry to
write to you that there are some printers' devils, especially in
English spelling."

* * * * *

"Nelson himself being a Suckling on his mother's
side."--_Observer_.

We cannot know too much about the early history of our heroes.

* * * * *

"Captain William Redmond, son of Mr. John Redmond, has been
awarded the D.S.O. He was commanding in a fierce fight and was
blown out of a shell hole, sustaining a sprained knee and ankle.
He rallied his men, and by promptly forming a defensive flank
saved his part of the line."--_Daily Express_.

This must have been in Sir WALTER SCOTT'S proleptic mind when he wrote
(in _Rokeby_):--

"Young Redmond, soil'd with smoke and blood,
Cheering his mates with heart and hand
Still to make good their desperate stand."

* * * * *

[Illustration: A BIRTHDAY GREETING FOR HINDENBURG.

F.M. SIR DOUGLAS HAIG (_sings_). "O I'LL TAK' THE HIGH ROAD
AN' YE'LL TAK' THE LOW ROAD...."

{The enemy has been fighting desperately to prevent us from occupying
the ridges above the Ypres-Menin road, and so forcing him to face the
winter on the low ground.}]

* * * * *

[Illustration: INFORMATION TO THE ENEMY.

_Wife._ "I CALL IT SIMPLY SCANDALOUS THAT THE PAPERS SHOULD BE ALLOWED
TO PUBLISH THE DATES WHEN THE MOON IS FULL."]

* * * * *

OSWALD AND CO.

We live in a fortress on the crest of a hill overlooking a little
Irish town, a centre of the pig and potheen industries. The fortress
was, according to tradition, built by BRIAN BORU, renovated by Sir
WALTER RALEIGH (the tobacconist, not the prof