?

At 5 minutes after 8 on that day.

THOMAS BROWN, what is your answer? When will that Republican be
admitted?

At 5 minutes after 8 P.M. on the 4th of July.

Both correct. That proves that politics have been reduced to a fine art.
The class is dismissed.

* * * * *

BOSTON FIRST.

Even in the matter of earthquakes the proverbial superiority of Boston
to all other places, as a centre, has just been proved. A writer in the
_Evening Post_, discussing the comparative phenomena of the late
earthquake at various points, says:--

"Allowing seven and a half minutes for difference of local time, the
shock was two minutes earlier at Boston than at New Haven. This implies
that Boston was nearer to the centre of disturbance than New Haven."

Further developments will doubtless show that Boston was ahead not of
New Haven only, in the enjoyment of the refreshing young cataclasm
referred to, but was the absolute "Hub" from which it radiated, and
therefore ahead of all the rest of creation in regard of earthquakes as
everything else. Property has already gone up to a tremendous figure at
Boston, owing to the multifarious fascinations of the place; but the
greatest chance folks there ever had to "pile it on" is the admission of
the earthquake as a "Boston notion."

* * * * *

From the Seat of War.

What were the Francs-Tireurs before they were organized?

They wear leather gaiters.

* * * * *

Republicans.

It would be dangerous to elect the two leading Republican candidates.
They must have monarchical ideas, inasmuch as they both come from Kings.

* * * * *

[Illustration: DEVOTION TO SCIENCE.

_Mamma._ "AH YOU CRUEL, CRUEL BOY, HOW COULD YOU FRIGHTEN YOUR DEAR
LITTLE SISTER SO?"

_The Incorrigible._ "I--I ONLY WANTED TO SEE IF HER HAIR WOULD TURN
WHITE."]

* * * * *

An Advertising Parson.

There is nothing like judicious advertising--at least, we have been told
this often enough to believe it. So thinks a Pennsylvania parson, who
advertises himself in a newspaper as follows:--

"Cupid and Hymen. The little brown cottage at Cambridge, Pa., is the
place to call to have the marriage-knot promptly and strongly tied.
Inquire for Rev. S. J. Whitcomb."

--While he was about it, why didn't the Rev. WHITCOMB advertise the
other jobs for which orders migh