advanced thinkers are agreed that half the diseases of modern
civilization are due to starvation of the affections of the young. Now,
_I_--

VIVIE [cutting him short] You are very tiresome. [She opens the inner
door] Have you room for Frank there? He's complaining of starvation.

MRS WARREN [within] Of course there is [clatter of knives and glasses
as she moves the things on the table]. Here! theres room now beside me.
Come along, Mr Frank.

FRANK. Her little boy will be ever so even with his Vivvums for this.
[He passes into the kitchen].

MRS WARREN [within] Here, Vivie: come on you too, child. You must be
famished. [She enters, followed by Crofts, who holds the door open with
marked deference. She goes out without looking at him; and he shuts the
door after her]. Why George, you can't be done: you've eaten nothing. Is
there anything wrong with you?

CROFTS. Oh, all I wanted was a drink. [He thrusts his hands in his
pockets, and begins prowling about the room, restless and sulky].

MRS WARREN. Well, I like enough to eat. But a little of that cold
beef and cheese and lettuce goes a long way. [With a sigh of only half
repletion she sits down lazily on the settle].

CROFTS. What do you go encouraging that young pup for?

MRS WARREN [on the alert at once] Now see here, George: what are you
up to about that girl? I've been watching your way of looking at her.
Remember: I know you and what your looks mean.

CROFTS. Theres no harm in looking at her, is there?

MRS WARREN. I'd put you out and pack you back to London pretty soon if
I saw any of your nonsense. My girl's little finger is more to me than
your whole body and soul. [Crofts receives this with a sneering grin.
Mrs Warren, flushing a little at her failure to impose on him in the
character of a theatrically devoted mother, adds in a lower key] Make
your mind easy: the young pup has no more chance than you have.

CROFTS. Mayn't a man take an interest in a girl?

MRS WARREN. Not a man like you.

CROFTS. How old is she?

MRS WARREN. Never you mind how old she is.

CROFTS. Why do you make such a secret of it?

MRS WARREN. Because I choose.

CROFTS. Well, I'm not fifty yet; and my property is as good as it ever
was--

MRS [interrupting him] Yes; because youre as stingy as youre vicious.

CROFTS [continuing] And a baronet isn't to be picked up every day.

No other man in my position would put up with you for a mother-in-law.
Why shouldn't she marry