relief it is
to be able to tell it to someone. I used to want to shriek it out to the
world in the long nights when I could not sleep. It seemed to me that I
could not die with it. It demanded some sort of expression. And now that
you know, you would scarcely believe how much less sharp the anguish of
it is."

Everett continued to look helplessly at the floor. "I was not sure how
much you wanted me to know," he said.

"Oh, I intended you should know from the first time I looked into your
face, when you came that day with Charley. I flatter myself that I have
been able to conceal it when I chose, though I suppose women always
think that. The more observing ones may have seen, but discerning people
are usually discreet and often kind, for we usually bleed a little
before we begin to discern. But I wanted you to know; you are so like
him that it is almost like telling him himself. At least, I feel now
that he will know some day, and then I will be quite sacred from his
compassion, for we none of us dare pity the dead. Since it was what my
life has chiefly meant, I should like him to know. On the whole I am not
ashamed of it. I have fought a good fight."

"And has he never known at all?" asked Everett, in a thick voice.

"Oh! Never at all in the way that you mean. Of course, he is accustomed
to looking into the eyes of women and finding love there; when he
doesn't find it there he thinks he must have been guilty of some
discourtesy and is miserable about it. He has a genuine fondness for
everyone who is not stupid or gloomy, or old or preternaturally ugly.
Granted youth and cheerfulness, and a moderate amount of wit and some
tact, and Adriance will always be glad to see you coming around the
corner. I shared with the rest; shared the smiles and the gallantries
and the droll little sermons. It was quite like a Sunday-school picnic;
we wore our best clothes and a smile and took our turns. It was his
kindness that was hardest. I have pretty well used my life up at
standing punishment."

"Don't; you'll make me hate him," groaned Everett.

Katharine laughed and began to play nervously with her fan. "It wasn't
in the slightest degree his fault; that is the most grotesque part of
it. Why, it had really begun before I ever met him. I fought my way to
him, and I drank my doom greedily enough."

Everett rose and stood hesitating. "I think I must go. You ought to be
quiet, and I don't think I can hear any more just now."

S