ing,
Still I was here, still I _was_ here.
If I could keep my place (and pay),
Patient diplomacy to ply,
I would not leave thee though I say
Good-bye, sweet Porte, good-bye!

* * * * *

GRANDOLPH'S TEACHINGS.--When you rush in to dress at five minutes to
eight, and you are to dine two miles off at eight sharp, when your
shoe-strings break, your studs roll on the floor, your links refuse to
catch, and you suddenly discover an iron-mould in the centre of your
shirt-front, then when a sweet patient voice from the other room says,
"O my dear! don't use such awful language!" then bethink you of
GRANDOLPH, and explain that your fervent utterances were only "blessings
in disguise."

* * * * *

COVENT GARDEN OPERA.--_Mr. Punch's_ advice,--if _Lohengrin_ is given
again, with the same cast as it had last Saturday, go and hear it. A
real treat.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE PROVINCIALS!

_Northern Belle._ "DID YOU GO UP TO THE ACADEMY SOIREE?"

_Masher._ "AH--M--M--NO. I--AH--SELDOM GO TO LONDON NOW. MY TAILOR COMES
DOWN NORTH THREE OR FOUR TIMES A YEAR!"]

* * * * *

PAVING THE WAY FOR HIM.

IT is understood that at the final sitting of the Sobranje it was
decided to submit to Prince FERDINAND of Saxe-Coburg the following
memorandum of terms for his acceptance:--

That he shall forward, together with his references, his photograph on
approval.

On it being notified to him that these have been considered
satisfactory, he shall state whether he understands the confidence and
three-card tricks, and also what acquaintance he possesses with the
heavier feats of advanced _leger-de-main_ that would warrant his active
intervention in the diplomatic intrigues of Eastern Europe.

That he shall provide his own crown, which must be a decidedly showy
affair, and should be so constructed as, by a little manipulation, it
could, in any sudden outbreak of popular fury, be made to assume the
appearance of an ordinary top-hat.

That his coronation-robe should be reversible, and, when turned inside
out, serve as a dressing-gown that would be available for night
surprises of a revolutionary character.

That he should be supplied with six bullet-proof shirts, to be worn on
important State occasions, and have not less than twelve complete
theatrical disguises for purposes of escaping with h