rland.

_Empress._ But surely L15,000 is a lot to expend upon extras?

_Emperor._ Depends on the view you take of things. I had a lot of
things to buy.

_Empress._ But surely _this_ must be wrong? Shoeblack fifty guineas!

_Emperor_ (_lightly_). No, I think that's all right. You see, the
fellow, after he had cleaned my boots, suddenly recognised me, called
me Sire, and sang the "_Wacht am Rhein_." I couldn't, after that, give
him less.

_Empress._ Well, you know best, dear; but I should have thought you
could have got your boots cleaned for rather less!

_Emperor._ Possibly; but I should have lost the story. And you know it
reads so well.

_Empress._ And here's another rather big item. L800 for a London
cabman!

_Emperor._ I consider _that_ the cheapest item in the lot. He wanted
more!

_Empress._ And here are several items of seventy pounds apiece. What
were _they_ for?

_Emperor._ Oh, nothing in particular. Little girl picked up my
handkerchief, and a little boy asked me for a kite. Was obliged to
give them each a bundle of tenners. It would have been so mean if I
had given them less. But there, I told you you wouldn't find the book
at all interesting. If you will pass it to me, I will lock it up.

_Empress._ Oh, certainly, dear. (_Gives up volume._) And now, darling,
I am going to ask you a favour. You never saw such a pet of a
coronet as they have at Von ----'s. Now I want you to buy it for me
particularly.

_Emperor_ (_embarrassed_). Certainly, dear--but you know, we are not
too well off.

_Empress._ Oh, but it is simply charming. Rubies round the edge, and
a cross of brilliants and emeralds. And, really, _so_ cheap. They only
want L100,000 for it!

_Emperor._ Very nice indeed; but just at this moment it would be a
little inconvenient to produce so large a sum.

_Empress._ Large sum! Why, the rubies alone are worth all the money.

_Emperor._ Yes, I know, dear. And now I must hurry away; duty, my
love, comes before pleasure. See you soon.

[_Exit hurriedly, to attend a review. In the meanwhile,
Coronet remains in the jeweller's shop-window. Curtain_.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE FESTIVE SEASON. A SCOTCH NIGHT.]

* * * * *

AN EVENING FROM HOME.

There used to appear daily--and it may be appearing daily now, for
aught I know, only, speaking on oath, I haven't lately noticed it--a
question addressed by Everybody in G