yer of women before
Brook was in the world at all. Her theory held good, when she looked at
it fairly, and her resentment grew apace. It was natural enough, for in
her imagination she had always hated that first husband of her mother's
who had come and gone before her father; and now she extended her hatred
to this probable brother, and it had much more force, because the man
was alive and a reality, and was soon to come and be a visible talking
person. There was one good point about him and his coming. It helped her
to revive her hatred of Brook and to colour it with the inheritance of
some harm done to her own mother. That certainly was an advantage.

But she should be very sorry not to see Brook any more, never to hear
him talk to her again, never to look into his eyes--which, all the
same, she so unreasonably dreaded. It was beyond her powers of analysis
to reconcile her like and dislike. All the little logic she had said
that it was impossible to like and dislike the same person at the same
time. She seemed to have two hearts, and the one cried "Hate," while the
other cried "Love." That was absurd, and altogether ridiculous, and
quite contemptible.

There they were, however, the two hearts, fighting it out, or at least
altercating and threatening to fight and hurt her. Of course "love"
meant "like"--it was a general term, well contrasting with "hate." As
for really caring, beyond a liking for Brook Johnstone, she was sure
that it was impossible. But the liking was strong. She exploded her
difficulty at last with the bomb of a splendidly youthful quibble. She
said to herself that she undoubtedly hated him and despised him, and
that he was certainly the very lowest of living men for treating Lady
Fan so badly--besides being a black sinner, a point which had less
weight. And then she told herself that the cry of something in her to
"like" instead of hating was simply the expression of what she might
have felt, and should have felt, and should have had a right to have
felt, had it not been for poor Lady Fan; but also of something which she
assuredly did not feel, never could feel, and never meant to feel. In
other words, she should have liked Brook if she had not had good cause
to dislike him. She was satisfied with this explanation of her feelings,
and she suddenly felt that she could go out and see him and talk to him
without being inconsistent. She had forgotten to explain to herself why
she wished him not to go aw