s lifetime, beyond a
doubt, and unpleasant as the thought might be, I was enormously his
debtor. That stern warrior's attitude towards the playhouse had ever been
uncompromising. Stalls, pit, and circles--the very names suggested
Dantesque images and provided illustrations for many a discourse.
Themselves verbose, these discourses indicated A Short Way with
Stage-players, and it stood in no doubt that the authorship of _Larks in
Aspic_ had only to be disclosed to him to provide me with the shortest
possible cut out of seventy thousand pounds.

I might, and did, mentally consign Trewlove to all manner of painful
places, as, for instance, the bottom of the sea; but I could not will away
this obligation. After cogitating for awhile I rang for him.

"Trewlove," said I, "you know, it seems, that I have written a play."

"Yessir! _Larks in Aspic_, sir."

I winced. "Since when have you known this?"

The dog, I am sure, took the bearings of this question at once. But he
laid his head on one side, and while he pulled one whisker, as if ringing
up the information, his eyes grew dull and seemed to be withdrawing into
visions of a far-away past. "I have been many times to see it, Mr.
George, and would be hard put to it to specify the first occasion. But it
was a mattinay."

"That is not what I asked, Trewlove. I want to know when you first
suspected or satisfied yourself that I was the author."

"Oh, at once, sir! The style, if I may say so, was unmistakable:
_in_-nimitable, sir, if I may take the libbaty."

"Excuse me," I began; but he did not hear. He had passed for the moment
beyond decorum, and his eyes began to roll in a manner expressive of
inward rapture, but not pretty to watch.

"I had not listened to your talk, sir, in private life--I had not, as one
might say, imbibed it--for nothink. The General, sir--your lamented
uncle--had a flow: he would, if allowed, and meaning no disrespect, talk
the hind leg off a jackass; but I found him lacking in 'umour. Now you,
Mr. George, 'ave 'umour. You 'ave not your uncle's flow, sir--the Lord
forbid! But in give-and-take, as one might say, you are igstreamly droll.
On many occasions, sir, when you were extra sparkling I do assure you it
required pressure not to igsplode."

"I thank you, Trewlove," said I coldly. "But will you, please, waive
these unsolicited testimonials and answer my question? Let me put it in
another form. Was it in my uncle's lifetime th