WAS REALLY TOO BAD OF YOU TO SEND US SUCH A
GLOBE--CRACKED FROM TOP TO BOTTOM----!"

_Vicar_ (_calling from the Study-door at end of
passage_). "MY DEAR, DID YOU RECOLLECT TO SEND FOR
HOSKINS ABOUT THE GLOBE YOU HAD THE LITTLE ACCIDENT WITH
LAST WEEK!"]

* * * * *

AN UNSCIENTIFIC DIALOGUE.

(_On a highly Uninteresting Topic._)

_First Aspiring Political Economist_ (_picking his way cautiously_).
What the Bimetallists maintain is this: that by fixing an artificial
ratio between the relative values of gold and silver, you somehow (_a
little vaguely_) keep up prices; and so, at least,--so I fancy,--assist
the circulation of capital. At all events, that is what I take M. EMILE
DE LAVELEYE to mean. (_Tentatively._) You see that, don't you?

_Second Aspiring Political Economist._ Not a bit of it. Why, EMILE DE
LAVELEYE is an ass. (_Emphatically._) GIFFEN says so. And you can't have
a higher authority than GIFFEN (_clinching the matter_). Why, he's Hon.
Assistant Deputy Secretary to the Board of Commerce; (_with animation_)
in fact, he says that all Bimetallists are hopeless lunatics, and, in my
opinion, he's about right.

_Third Aspiring Political Economist._ I don't see that at all. But if
you are going to settle the matter by merely quoting names, what have
you got to say to FOXWELL, the London Professor? He's a Bimetallist, and
no mistake.

_Second Aspiring Political Economist._ "Got to say?" Why, ask LEVIN of
Cambridge what he thinks of him. LEVIN backs up GIFFEN in every word he
says, and I agree with both of them. How can you have two standards?
(_Explicitly._) The thing is preposterous.

_First Aspiring Political Economist._ It is all very well to lay down
the law in that fashion, but it will not dispose of facts. You may quote
GIFFEN, or LEVIN, or anyone you like, but they will not be able to do
away with the circumstance, that prices are regulated by the quantity of
money in circulation (_with a little hesitation_); at least, that is
what I understand the other side to maintain.

_Second Aspiring Political Economist._ Sheer nonsense. How does the
quantity of money you possess affect the price you pay for a commodity?
The fact of your having twenty sovereigns in your purse won't make your
butcher charge you an extra halfpenny a pound for a leg of mutton! That
must be clear to any fool!

_First Aspiring Political Economist._ But you don't understand. It