n be said? I will not even think either of to-morrow or of the
day after to-morrow."[213] The truth is that, as he tells us in his
Autobiography, he was now in an embarrassing position. His relations
to Lili had become such that a decisive step was necessary in the
interests of both. During the last fortnight of March his mood was
certainly not that of a happy lover. To break with Lili was a step
which circumstances as well as his own attachment to her made a dire
alternative. On the other hand, from the bond of marriage, as we know,
he shrank with every instinct of his nature. Only a few weeks before,
doubtless with his own possible fate in front of him, he had put these
words in the mouth of Fernando in his _Stella_: "I would be a fool to
allow myself to be shackled. That state [marriage] smothers all my
powers; that state robs me of all my spirits, cramps my whole being. I
must forth into the free world."[214] Goethe did eventually take the
decision of Fernando, but not just yet. On March 25th he wrote to
Herder: "It seems as if the twisted threads on which my fate hangs,
and which I have so long shaken to and fro in oscillating rotation,
would at last unite."[215] On the 29th, Klopstock, who had come on a
few days' visit to Frankfort, found him in "strange agitation." As so
often happened in Goethe's life, it was an accident that determined
his wavering purpose. In the beginning of April there came to
Frankfort a Mademoiselle Delf, an old friend of the Schoenemann family,
whom Goethe made acquainted with his father and mother. A person of
strenuous character, she took it upon her to bring matters to a point
between the two households. With the consent of Lili's mother, she
brought Lili one evening to the Goethe house. "Take each other by the
hand," she said in commanding tones; and the two lovers obeyed and
embraced. "It was a remarkable decree of the powers that rule us," is
the characteristic reflection of the aged Goethe, "that in the course
of my singular career I should also experience the feelings of one
betrothed."

[Footnote 213: _Werke, Briefe_, ii. 246.]

[Footnote 214: _Werke, Briefe_, ii. 249.]

[Footnote 215: _Ib._ p. 255.]

Goethe's feelings as a betrothed were from the first of a mingled
nature. No sooner had he given his pledge than all the complications
which must result from his union with Lili stared him in the face.
Even after the betrothal the relations between the two families did
not beco