m
cheerfully, maintain such a prudent reserve, as to intimate that they
are viewed by her as mere acts of ordinary courtesy and friendship. In
all places of public amusement--at balls, the opera, &c.--for a lady
to be seen with any other cavalier than her avowed lover in close
attendance upon her would expose her to the imputation of flirtation.
She will naturally take pains at such a period to observe the taste of
her lover in regard to her costume, and strive carefully to follow
it, for all men desire to have their taste and wishes on such apparent
trifles gratified. She should at the same time observe much delicacy
in regard to dress, and be careful to avoid any unseemly display of
her charms: lovers are naturally jealous of observation under such
circumstances. It is a mistake not seldom made by women, to suppose
their suitors will be pleased by the glowing admiration expressed
by other men for the object of _their_ passion. Most lovers, on
the contrary, we believe, would prefer to withdraw their prize
from general observation until the happy moment for their union has
arrived.

_Conduct of the Gentleman towards the Family of his Betrothed_.

The lover, having now secured his position, should use discretion and
tact in his intercourse with the lady's family, and take care that his
visits be not deemed too frequent--so as to be really inconvenient
to them. He should accommodate himself as much as possible to their
habits and ways, and be ever ready and attentive to consult their
wishes. Marked attention, and in most cases affectionate kindness,
to the lady's mother ought to be shown: such respectful homage will
secure for him many advantages in his present position. He must not,
however, presume to take his stand yet as a member of the family, nor
exhibit an obtrusive familiarity in manner and conversation. Should a
disruption of the engagement from some unexpected cause ensue, it
is obvious that any such premature assumption would lead to very
embarrassing results. In short, his conduct should be such as to win
for himself the esteem and affection of all the family, and dispose
them ever to welcome and desire his presence, rather than regard him
as an intruder.

_Conduct of the Lady on Retiring from her Engagement_.

Should this step unhappily be found necessary on the lady's part, the
truth should be spoken, and the reasons frankly given: there must be
no room left for the suspicion of its having originate