estion--"

THE F.O.O. (_seeing a gleam of hope_). Working-party? Is that C
Battery? I want to speak to--

THE ADJUTANT. }
BRIGADE HEADQUARTERS. } Get off the line!
REGIMENTAL HEADQUARTERS. }

FIRST CHATTY SIGNALLER. Haw, Jock, was ye hearin' aboot Andra?

SECOND CHATTY SIGNALLER. No. Whit was that?

FIRST CHATTY SIGNALLER. Weel--

THE F.O.O. (_doggedly_). Is that C Battery?

REGIMENTAL HEADQUARTERS (_resolutely_). "The worrking-parrty in
question was duly detailed for tae proceed to the rendiss vowse at"--

THE ADJUTANT. Is that B Company, curse you?

REGIMENTAL HEADQUARTERS (_quite impervious to this sort of
thing_),--"the rendiss vowse, at seeven thirrty Akk Emma, at point
H two B eight nine, near the cross-roads by the Estamint Repose dee
Bicyclistees, for tae"--honk! honkle! honk!

BRIGADE HEADQUARTERS (_compassionately_). You're makin' a 'orrible
mess of this message, ain't you? Shake your transmitter, do!

REGIMENTAL HEADQUARTERS (_after dutifully performing this operation_).
Honkle, honkle, honk. Yang!

BRIGADE HEADQUARTERS. Buzz it, my lad, buzz it!

REGIMENTAL HEADQUARTERS (_dutifully_). Ping, ping! Ping, ping! Ping,
ping, ping! Ping--

GENERAL CHORUS. Stop that ----, ----, ----, ---- buzzing!

FIRST CHATTY SIGNALLER. Weel, Andra says tae the Sergeant-Major of
Beer Company, says he--

THE ADJUTANT. Is that B Company?

FIRST CHATTY SIGNALLER. No, sir; this is Beer Company.

THE ADJUTANT (_fortissimo_). I _said_ Beer Company!

FIRST CHATTY SIGNALLER. Oh! I thocht ye meant Don Company, sir.

THE ADJUTANT. Why the blazes haven't you answered me sooner?

FIRST CHATTY SIGNALLER (_tactfully_). There was other messages comin'
through, sir.

THE ADJUTANT. Well, get me the Company Commander.

FIRST CHATTY SIGNALLER. Varra good, sirr.

_A pause. Regimental Headquarters being engaged in laboriously
"buzzing" its message through to the Brigade, all other conversation
is at a standstill. The Harmonious Blacksmiths seize the opportunity
to give a short selection. Presently, as the din dies down_--

THE F.O.O. (_faint, yet pursuing_). Is that C Battery?

A JOVIAL VOICE. Yes.

THE F.O.O. What a shock! I thought you were all dead. Is that you,
Chumps?

THE JOVIAL VOICE. It is. What can I do for you this morning?

THE F.O.O. You can boil your signal sentry's head!

THE JOVIAL VOICE. What for?

THE F.O.O. For keeping me waiting.

THE JOVIAL VOICE. Righto! And the next articl