d Lady_. We have been so dull--

_3rd Lady_. So perfectly lifeless--You owe it to us to be more than
commonly entertaining.

_Mr. H_. Ladies, this is so obliging--

_4th Lady_. O, Mr. H., those ranunculas you said were dying, pretty
things, they have got up--

_5th Lady_. I have worked that sprig you commended--I want you to
come--

_Mr. H_. Ladies--

_6th Lady_. I have sent for that piece of music from London.

_Mr. H_. The Mozart _(seeing MELESINDA)_--Melesinda!

_Several Ladies at once_. Nay, positively, Melesinda, you shan't
engross him all to yourself.

[_While the ladies are pressing about MR. H., the gentlemen show
signs of displeasure_.

_1st Gent_. We shan't be able to edge in a word, now this coxcomb is
come.

_2d Gent_. Damn him, I will affront him.

_1st Gent_. Sir, with your leave, I have a word to say to one of
these ladies.

_2d Gent_. If we could be heard--

[_The Ladies pay no attention but to MR. H_.

_Mr. H_. You see, gentlemen, how the matter stands. _(Hums an air.)_
I am not my own master: positively I exist and breathe but to be
agreeable to these--Did you speak?

_1st Gent_. And affects absence of mind--Puppy!

_Mr. H_. Who spoke of absence of mind; did you, Madam? How do you do,
Lady Wearwell--how do? I did not see your ladyship before--what was I
about to say--O--absence of mind. I am the most unhappy dog in that
way, sometimes spurt out the strangest things--the most
mal-a-propos--without meaning to give the least offence, upon my
honor--sheer absence of mind--things I would have given the world not
to have said.

_1st Gent_. Do you hear the coxcomb?

_1st Lady_. Great wits, they say--

_2d Lady_. Your fine geniuses are most given--

_3d Lady_. Men of bright parts are commonly too vivacious--

_Mr. H_. But you shall hear. I was to dine the other day at a great
Nabob's that must be nameless, who, between ourselves, is strongly
suspected of--being very rich, that's all. John, my valet, who knows
my foible, cautioned me, while he was dressing me, as he usually does
where he thinks there's a danger of my committing a _lapsus_, to take
care in my conversation how I made any allusion direct or indirect to
presents--you understand me? I set out double charged with my
fellow's consideration and my own; and, to do myself justice, behaved
with tolerable circumspection for the first half-hour or so,--till at
last a gentleman in company, who was indulgin