ations' esteem for me; nor upon my conditional
liking, and such-like. All I intended by the first, I believe, I
honestly told you at the time. To that letter I therefore refer, whether
it make for me, or against me: and by the other, that I might bear in
mind, what it became a person of my sex and character to be and to
do, in such an unhappy situation, where the imputed love is thought an
undutiful, and therefore a criminal passion; and where the supported
object of it is a man of faulty morals too. And I am sure you will
excuse my desire of appearing at those times the person I ought to be;
had I no other view in it but to merit the continuance of your good
opinion.

But that I may acquit myself of having reserves--O, my dear, I must here
break off--!

LETTER XXXIX

MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE MONDAY, MARCH 12.

This letter will account to you, my dear, for my abrupt breaking off in
the answer I was writing to yours of yesterday; and which, possibly,
I shall not be able to finish and send you till to-morrow or next day;
having a great deal to say to the subjects you put to me in it. What
I am now to give you are the particulars of another effort made by my
friends, through the good Mrs. Norton.

It seems they had sent to her yesterday, to be here this day, to take
their instructions, and to try what she could do with me. It would,
at least, I suppose they thought, have this effect; to render me
inexcusable with her; or to let her see, that there was no room for the
expostulations she had often wanted to make in my favour to my mother.

The declaration, that my heart was free, afforded them an argument to
prove obstinacy and perverseness upon me; since it could be nothing else
that governed me in my opposition to their wills, if I had no particular
esteem for another man. And now, that I have given them reason (in
order to obviate this argument) to suppose that I have a preference to
another, they are resolved to carry their schemes into execution as soon
as possible. And in order to this, they sent for this good woman, for
whom they know I have even a filial regard.

She found assembled my father and mother, my brother and sister, my two
uncles, and my aunt Hervey.

My brother acquainted her with all that had passed since she was last
permitted to see me; with the contents of my letters avowing my regard
for Mr. Lovelace (as they all interpreted them); with the substance of
their answers to t