't laugh
either--that it's wicked to feel laughy. And it's so hard for me to
keep from laughing, even if Jem is going to be a soldier. But when I
laugh I don't enjoy it either, as I used to do. There's something
behind it all that keeps hurting me--especially when I wake up in the
night. Then I cry because I am afraid that Kitchener of Khartoum is
right and the war will last for years and Jem may be--but no, I won't
write it. It would make me feel as if it were really going to happen.
The other day Nan said, 'Nothing can ever be quite the same for any of
us again.' It made me feel rebellious. Why shouldn't things be the same
again--when everything is over and Jem and Jerry are back? We'll all be
happy and jolly again and these days will seem just like a bad dream.

"The coming of the mail is the most exciting event of every day now.
Father just snatches the paper--I never saw father snatch before--and
the rest of us crowd round and look at the headlines over his shoulder.
Susan vows she does not and will not believe a word the papers say but
she always comes to the kitchen door, and listens and then goes back,
shaking her head. She is terribly indignant all the time, but she cooks
up all the things Jem likes especially, and she did not make a single
bit of fuss when she found Monday asleep on the spare-room bed
yesterday right on top of Mrs. Rachel Lynde's apple-leaf spread. 'The
Almighty only knows where your master will be having to sleep before
long, you poor dumb beast,' she said as she put him quite gently out.
But she never relents towards Doc. She says the minute he saw Jem in
khaki he turned into Mr. Hyde then and there and she thinks that ought
to be proof enough of what he really is. Susan is funny, but she is an
old dear. Shirley says she is one half angel and the other half good
cook. But then Shirley is the only one of us she never scolds.

"Faith Meredith is wonderful. I think she and Jem are really engaged
now. She goes about with a shining light in her eyes, but her smiles
are a little stiff and starched, just like mother's. I wonder if I
could be as brave as she is if I had a lover and he was going to the
war. It is bad enough when it is your brother. Bruce Meredith cried all
night, Mrs. Meredith says, when he heard Jem and Jerry were going. And
he wanted to know if the 'K of K.' his father talked about was the King
of Kings. He is the dearest kiddy. I just love him--though I don't
really care much for