o make this people proceed in any business that we find
convenient. Take them at this present ferment of the mind, let them not
think, but at once set them to work." In short, the whole nation went
heartily to the business, to build an edifice such as was never seen in
any other country. I took care to supply them with their favourite kava
and fudge, and they worked like horses. The tower of Babylon, which,
according to Hermogastricus, was seven miles high, or the Chinese wall,
was a mere trifle, in comparison to this stupendous edifice, which was
completed in a very short space of time.

It was of an immense height, far beyond anything that ever had been
before erected, and of such gentle ascent, that a regiment of cavalry
with a train of cannon could ascend with perfect ease and facility. It
seemed like a rainbow in the heavens, the base of which appeared to rise
in the centre of Africa, and the other extremity seemed to stoop into
great Britain. A most noble bridge indeed, and a piece of masonry that
has outdone Sir Christopher Wren. Wonderful must it have been to form so
tremendous an arch, especially as the artists had certain difficulties
to labour against which they could not have in the formation of any
other arch in the world--I mean, the attraction of the moon and
planets: Because the arch was of so great a height, and in some parts
so elongated from the earth, as in a great measure to diminish in its
gravitation to the centre of our globe; or rather, seemed more easily
operated upon by the attraction of the planets: So that the stones of
the arch, one would think, at certain times, were ready to fall _up_
to the moon, and at other times to fall down to the earth. But as the
former was more to be dreaded, I secured stability to the fabric by a
very curious contrivance: I ordered the architects to get the heads of
some hundred numbskulls and blockheads, and fix them to the interior
surface of the arch, at certain intervals, all the whole length, by
which means the arch was held together firm, and its inclination to the
earth eternally established; because of all the things in the world, the
skulls of these kind of animals have a strange facility of tending to
the centre of the earth.

The building being completed, I caused an inscription to be engraved in
the most magnificent style upon the summit of the arch, in letters so
great and luminous, that all vessels sailing to the East or West Indies
might read them