y bright, spontaneous quips on the way to the table. I thought them
out in advance, but now, somehow, none of them seemed appropriate.
Instinctively, as it were, I felt that humor was out of place here.

I never knew an elevator to progress from the third floor of a building
to the ninth with such celerity as this one on which we were traveling
progressed. Personally I was in no mood for haste. If there was anyone
else in all that great hospital who was in a particular hurry to be
operated on I was perfectly willing to wait. But alas, no! The mechanism
of the elevator was in perfect order--entirely too perfect. No accident
of any character whatsoever befell us en route, no dropping back into
the basement with a low, grateful thud; no hitch; no delay of any kind.
We were certainly out of luck that trip. The demon of a joyrider who
operated the accursed device jerked a lever and up we soared at a
distressingly high rate of speed. If I could have had my way about that
youth he would have been arrested for speeding.

Now we were there! They rolled into a large room, all white, with a
rounded ceiling like the inside of an egg. Right away I knew what the
feelings of a poor, lonely little yolk are when the spoon begins to chip
the shell. If I had not been so busy feeling sorry for myself I think I
might have developed quite an active sympathy for yolks.

My impression had been that this was to be in the nature of a private
affair, without invitations. I was astonished to note that quite a crowd
had assembled for the opening exercises. From his attire and general
deportment I judged that Doctor Z was going to be the master of the
revels, he being attired appropriately in a white domino, with rubber
gloves and a fancy cap of crash toweling. There were present, also,
my diagnostic friend, Doctor X, likewise in fancy-dress costume, and a
surgeon I had never met. From what I could gather he was going over the
course behind Doctor Z to replace the divots.

And there was an interne in the background, playing caddy, as it were,
and a head nurse, who was going to keep the score, and two other nurses,
who were going to help her keep it. I only hoped that they would show no
partiality, but be as fair to me as they were to Doctor Z, and that he
would go round in par.

So they placed me right where my eyes might rest on a large wall cabinet
full of very shiny-looking tools; and they took my cigar away from me
and folded my hands on the